Written by Rick Merwin
Novelized by Kelly Lea Harris
Across the vastness of Videoland, on the magical world of Hyrule, years have passed since the fall of the evil wizard Ganon, and peace reigned throughout the land.
Children were playing in the streets. Their parents were idly talking, enjoying the day. The wind picked up the pink dandelion seeds and danced them everywhere...
Until one dark day, rumor spread that the evil Ganon would rise again...
"...Ha! Do-HaHa! Do-Ha! Do-Ha! Do-Ha!"
Heads turned everywhere. The ugly blue faces of moblins sent everyone cascading and scrambling for the safety of their homes. Mothers scrambled to gather their children. Windows were slammed shut. Doors closed. Fathers barred the doors.
The moblins waltzed right through town. "Do-Ha! Do-Ha! Do-HaHa! Do-Ha! Do-Ha! Do-Ha!"
Meanwhile, at the Palace of Power...
"Arf, arf, arf, arf!"
Gameboy exited a warp. "Begin exercise maneuvers," Gameboy monotonely said. He disappeared around the column the warp was in just before Duke came out.. Their antics went unnoticed by the rooms third occupant: Simon Belmont, reading a magazine (with him kissing a reflection of himself on the cover) entitled "True Love."
Gameboy came back around the column, and tagged Duke on the head with a green screen stretched hand. "Prepare to revert game action." He flew back through the warp, followed by Duke.
Simon simply flipped to the next page in the magazine.
The video screen overlooking the long table Simon was sitting at flared to life. "Hyrule calling the Palace of Power."
Simon looked up from his magazine at the voice's blond haired owner's static marred image.
"We're in need of a hero."
This was too good a chance for Simon to pass up. He stood, "Simon Belmont, vampire hunter, at your service, your loveliness. Not only am I tall, blond, and handsome, I'm quick on the draw..." He let go of his magazine and pulled out his whip. Slashing it into the air, the magazine was quickly nothing but shreds and a folding silhouette of his head. He then switched from destroying the magazine to using the whip as a jump rope. "...light on my feet...yaiiii!"
A warp had suddenly opened behind Simon, and Duke and Gameboy came barreling out, sending the vampire hunter flying through the air to land in a potted plant.
The beautiful blond on the staticy video screen laughed. "Very impressive, Hero Belmont. But, actually, I was looking for Captain N."
A door off to one side opened, letting two brunettes step over its threshold. "Did somebody call my name?" One look at the static screen told him: yes. "Oh wow! You're Princess..."
"Zelda!" Lana exclaimed, unintentionally finishing Kevin's sentence. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing we can't handle, Lana," Zelda said with a smile that comes only with years of friendship. "With a little help from your Captain N."
Pleased to Dickens, Kevin bowed. "I live to help beautiful princesses."
Crossing her arms, Lana mocked frowned. "You never bow like that for me."
Kevin turned and bowed to Lana. "By your leave, your highness."
Lana lost the frown. She couldn't help but smile at Kevin's sudden chivalry. "Be off with you, my captain. But be home in time for dinner."
Gameboy and Duke entered through the door Kevin and Lana had left open. "Program in place to inspect new environment," Gameboy monotoned.
"Okay, Gameboy, you can go. Don't blow a microchip," Kevin said with a grin.
"Aru arf." Duke placed a leg on Kevin's leg.
"Ah, not this time, fella," Kevin said to Duke. "Somebody has to help Lana hold down the fort."
Simon had finally worked his way out of the plant. "Yes, some of us have better things to do than running off to playing hero."
"Simon," Lana pointed to the now mangled flora. "What are you doing in that plant?"
Smiling sheepishly like someone caught in the act of something bad, Simon began yanking the leaves. "Ah- pruning the leaves, of course." He continued yanking the leaves off.
Lana turned and faced Kevin, her face extremely serious. "Kevin, Hyrule is an exciting world, but it's also dangerous." Her voice seemed to speak from experience more than rumor or simple book lessons. "Please, be careful."
"Aren't I always?" He saluted her.
"This is awesome! Me, meeting my favorite video hero!"
Ever hear the phrase 'famous last words'? Well, those were Kevin's, so to speak.
Stepping up to North Castle was nothing short of a dream for him. Even when he had first come to Videoland, he wanted to come here. Quite frankly, he hadn't found much opportunity or excuse to do so... actually, this was his first real chance. But having just once stepped up to the green capped, green jerkined Hylian was better than he had ever hoped for.
The moment they shook hands, it all came crashing down on Kevin. This is him! This is really Link! Flesh and blood, skin and bones. This is the real guy! With maybe more than his fair share of awe, Kevin managed to say, "You're a real video legend where I come from, Link..." but then his eyes caught sight of something, "Hey- What happened to your leg?"
A white bandage was securely wrapped around Link's upper left leg. "Aw, it's nothing," He seemed to take it in stride. "Pulled a muscle dodging boomerangs. Goes with the territory, you know."
Kevin nodded. "Yeah." He could certainly understand something like that.
"So, Captain N, is this the famous zapper I've hear so much about?"
This means he's wanted to meet me for sometime? This is just a blast! Pride displayed on his face, Kevin pulled out the orange zapper and twirled it. "The one and only. But hey- call me Kevin. All my friends do." Kevin was too happy to keep down his enthusiasm. Even the most blatant hints of his want for friendship went by unchecked.
"Erm Hmmmm!" Princess Zelda stood from her seat in the courtyard. "You two heroes can pat yourselves on the back some other time. We have important business."
"Oh yeah, right, Ganon," Link didn't sound too happy to switch to that subject.
"Ganon?" Kevin looked at Link with more than a hint of horror on his face. "I thought you wiped him out for good."
"So did I," Link frowned. "But we just heard a rumor that someone's trying to bring him back."
They both turned to face Zelda. "Wow," Kevin's voice lowered, thinking of the seriousness of the situation. "You got any clues?"
Zelda eagle-eyed Kevin. "Only one: That they're searching for a magic potion that will restore his power. We've got to find it first."
"Of course, I don't really need help," Link boasted. "But Zelda insisted." He drew his sword, demonstrating his skill at swinging it with pinpoint accuracy. "Mnnn!... Ah!"
"Link," Zelda chided, "you know Ganon's creatures have vowed to get revenge on you for defeating their master."
"This is perfect!" Mother Brain sadistically gleamed, looking into the viewer on the wall. "I couldn't have planned it better myself. Those two idiots of mine won't have to search for the Potion of Power. Captain Nice-Guy will lead them right to it." Rubbing her two long tentacles together, Mother Brain turned back to the viewer, switching the roterswitch on the wall.
King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard were up to their armpits in swamp water. "Aw, this is what I get for following your stupid directions. I'm getting water logged!" Hippo complained to his companion.
Raising green fingers from the swamp water, Eggplant said (with a frog sitting on his head). "W-well, so what? Look at my fingers. They're all pickled."
"I didn't send you fish heads to Hyrule to have a pool party!"
Hippo and Eggplant looked up. The image of Mother Brain's face appeared before them over the swamp. "Mother Brain!" they both exclaimed.
"You were expecting Donkey Kong? Where's my Potion of Power to wake up Ganon?"
Eggplant spoke. "Well, ah..."
"Nevermind!" Mother Brain cut off Eggplant. "Just get over to Raru Town and follow Captain N. Get me that potion or your names are 'Mud'!" Mother Brain's visage disappeared.
Hippo and Eggplant continued staring at where Mother Brain's face had been. Their vision suddenly was interrupted by a large watersnake raising its head. "YAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" As fast as their feet would take them, they were out of the swamp.
The streets were empty. As if the emphasize this, a garbage can blew over, spilling its contents out onto the street. The spilled papers followed along mindlessly. The wind blew through, howling and picking up dust.
"Where is everybody?" Kevin asked.
Sharp clicks of a woman's footsteps echoed down the alleys and streets. "Human person sighted," Gameboy chirped.
Zelda dashed over, followed by the other three. "Excuse me."
The blond woman spun around, almost dropping her armful of clothing, giving a piercing shriek. "Ahh!"
"Don't be afraid," Zelda said. "We just need your help finding the Potion of Power."
Not recognizing Zelda as the princess, the woman backed off. "Please. I know nothing." She spun around, dashing off. Her clicking heels vanished around a corner. Kevin, Link, and Zelda looked at each other, each thinking variations of Now what? when the woman shrieked again.
Immediately, they dashed around the corner.
Disguised as Hylians, King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard followed behind. "There they go," Hippo said. "C'mon."
The woman had dropped her armful of clothing and was lying on the ground. Towering above her was a moblin- special head gear signifying his high rank in the moblin hierarchy... Scarface. "Tell me what you know, or else-"
The woman looked up. "I told you, I know nothing."
Scarface lifted his spear...
"Moblin! Release the woman!"
He turned and faced Link, flanked by Zelda, Kevin, and Gameboy. "So-ho! We meet again, Link. Only this time you'll pay for destroying our master!"
No kidding, Kevin thought, rather sarcastically.
"Human life function endangered," Gameboy moved between the prone woman and the moblins. But just as he did that, Scarface raised a hand, summoning another four moblins out from hiding.
"Mind if we even up the odds?" Kevin asked Link.
"Sure," Link replied. "Three to five sounds about right."
Terrific! Kevin thought. A chance to show a real legend the stuff you're made out of. This is so awesome!
The first moblin jumped at Zelda.
She raised her bow, cocked it, and released a golden energy arrow- hitting the moblin while it was still in mid air.
In the interest of showing off, Kevin had opted to do acrobatic flips out of another moblin's way. Awsome! I am good! Another phrase comes to mind: spoke too soon- or here... thought too soon... Kevin mislanded, falling onto his back. The moblin's spear came crashing down at a blinding speed. Smacking into the pavement right next to Kevin's head, the spear was pulled back to strike again, this time with more accuracy.
The spear raised, about to come down... it never did. The moblin suddenly reeled over backwards and blipped out of existence. Behind where the moblin had been, was Gameboy with his LCD screen stretched into a hand holding a bat. The hand and weapon retracted into Gameboy's smiling face.
Kevin smiled took, but the smile vanished quickly. Kevin pulled out his zapper, nailing the moblin that had come up behind Gameboy. Now he could finally smile.
Link was still exchanging blows with his moblin. "You look like you could use a fencing lesson." He jumped over the moblin's spear swing, landing on the otherside of the moblin. Link's sword flared, destroying the moblin with its power. "Ha!" He turned and faced the last moblin, as did the other three. "Ready to try your luck?" Link asked Scarface.
"Oh!" called the blond woman, catching sight of a dorky looking kid.
"Mother!" called out a dorky kid standing nearby.
Scarface rushed over and grabbed the dorky kid. His spear was immediately by the kid's neck. "Drop your weapon," he didn't add the 'or else' part. He didn't need to.
Link and Zelda glanced at each other. Their hands opened, letting their weapons fall, one with a metallic clunk, the other with a wooden clatter.
Scareface pointed to Kevin. "C'mon. You too. Drop it."
"Here you go," Kevin tossed his zapper at Scarface, it landed with a plastic tumble. Kevin bent down and grabbed a blanket, from the blond woman's dropped armful of clothing. "Heads up!" He tossed it at Scarface, covering the moblin from head to ankle.
Scarface let the dorky kid go, reaching up to get the blanket off himself. "Let me out of this thing!"
Link obliged. He dropped to one knee, grabbing his sword, and released a bolt of energy from the sword at the moblin. The 'tossed' sword (the terminology used in The Legend of Zelda is "throwing the sword"... in Zelda II it's called "shooting") smacked into Scarface, obliterating him.
The blond woman finally got up, off the ground. "Thank you for saving my son, kind sir." From nearly out of nowhere, she pulled out a parchment and handed it to Kevin. "Please, take this as a reward. It's a map to an ancient desert palace." She pointed out a spot on the map. "There lies the key, that will unlock the Potion of Power you seek."
"Thank you, ma'am," Kevin said.
Link moved to his side and stretched a hand out. "Maybe I should take that." As if he felt he needed clarification, he added. "I know the terrain better than you do, Kevin."
Alright! He called me Kevin! "Sure, Link. I'm here to help you." He handed the map to Link, more than happy to, now that he was starting to see signs of what may very well be a long lasting friendship.
Unseen to any in the party, two plumpy people in disguise peered out from around the corner of a building. One Hippo and one veggie.
The ferocious winds blew gigantic boulders above their heads, but strangely, next to no wind was reaching the four travelers in the desert valley. "We're almost there," Link said. "I can see the palace up ahead." Rumbling beneath their feet suddenly erupted into a towering Geldarm. The force of the long antlionish Geldarm's emergence sent Link, Zelda, Kevin, and Gameboy flying backwards, each landing hard, each spouting some variation of "Ouch!"
Being last to land on the hard brown dirt, Kevin whipped out his zapper and blasted the Geldarm into non-existence.
Getting up to their collective feet, Link sneered from behind Kevin, "Nice move. Where did you learn that?"
Mistaking Link's angry sarcasm as a compliment, Kevin turned and faced him, smile on his face, "Nah- in my highschool gym class."
Realizing the sneer was lost on Kevin, Link looked down. "Right... C'mon, we'd better keep moving."
Two figures rushed out from behind a boulder. "Let's go," Eggplant said.
A sudden unexpected gust of wind sent one rock hurtling down at them "Whoa! A huge rock!" King Hippo exclaimed.
"Take this!" Eggplant brought his wand up and zapped the approaching boulder. It didn't stop. But when it did hit them, it wasn't a boulder, it was a tomato of gigantic proportions. It smacked into Hippo and Eggplant, covering both of them with vast amounts of instant ketchup.
"I hate tomatoes," King Hippo said.
The entrance was dark, and the narrow gorge leading up to in was dusty and depressing. One statue laid near the entrance. Perhaps it had been an Armos Knight, but its broken limbs ensured that it wouldn't be coming to life if touched.
Link sat down on a rock.
"What are we stopping for?" Kevin asked. "The game's just getting exciting."
Link removed his shield and shrunk it, putting it in his belt pack. "In case you haven't noticed," he sneered, "this isn't a game."
"H-hey, I didn't mean anything-"
Link stood up. "Forget it. Let's go!" The look on his face was practically wreathing with hate. He walked through the entrance, leaving Kevin starring after him, wondering what prompted this.
From the top of the staircase, Link drew his sword, rushing down at the onslaught of creatures racing at them. With one slash of his sword, they were gone, with Link plowing right through where they had been. When Kevin and Zelda finally caught up with him, he was between another two monsters, destroying them with one slash of his sword...
At the end of his stroke, a hammer flew at him from the side, knocking his sword out of his hand. Kevin and Zelda rushed up to his side, he was holding his right wrist where the hammer had hit it. Kevin smoothly pulled out his zapper, first getting rid of the hammer, allowing Link to get rid of the hammer's ugly owner while it was looking at its hands in astonishment over the vanished hammer.
While Link sheathed his sword, Zelda leaned over to Kevin. Link turned his head just in time to see Zelda plant a kiss on Kevin's cheek. Enraged, Link clenched his hands and grounded his teeth, then stormed away. Kevin went from inextrordinarily pleased at the kiss to inextrordinarily confused at the storming.
Kevin and Zelda had to double time to catch up. Link was waiting for them on a large round elevator platform.
They stepped off when the elevator reached the bottom. Suspended above a platform inside a glass container was a rather large key and an old scroll. "There it is!" Link exclaimed.
"Golden key! Golden key!" Gameboy jubileed.
"Look, that parchment must tell us where to find the Potion of Power." Zelda glanced at Kevin. "So, how do we get them out of there?"
"Easy," Kevin pulled out his zapper. "This table just needs a little remodeling."
Link held up a hand, pushing Kevin back. "Save your energy. I'll do it." With one swipe of the Magical Sword, the glass shattered, sending the key and the parchment raining to the platform. He bent down, prideful smile, and gathered up the key and parchment.
Link looked up, trying to identify the source of the rumble.
"Get back!" Kevin commanded.
No argument from Link. He stepped back immediately.
The top of the platform exploded upward in a fury, making room for a second to come up. On the rising platform was...
"Horsehead!" Link exclaimed.
"Whinny! Who dares to steal my Golden Key?" the monster asked.
Zelda took one step forward. "That key belongs to the kingdom of Hyrule."
"Whinny! Silence!" Horsehead's Morning Star whipped out, nearly decapitating Zelda, save for her quick movement. In the same motion, Zelda pulled out her bow and launched a golden energy arrow at Horsehead, which was absorbed by his armor and did no damage.
Link took front and center, drawing his sword. "Stay back guys!"
"I just can't stand here and watch," Kevin complained.
Zelda blocked Kevin's path. "Ugh... No, Kevin. Link knows what he's doing."
Link launched himself into the air, sword above his head as Horsehead's Morning Star passed harmlessly beneath him to where Link had been only moments before. "Aaaaahhhh!" Not exactly his usual battlecry. Coming down quickly... Horsehead's arm came up, batting Link away from him.
Kevin and Zelda gasped almost simultaneously.
"Ooooh!" Link hit the wall, his sword spun through the air, sticking upright in the floor much too far away for him to get to.
"Wow," Gameboy said when the sword hit.
Horsehead pointed at Link. "Whinny! You are too puny and weak for Horsehead."
"Link!" Zelda cried out.
Link managed to push himself up.
"Whinny! Prepare to meet thy fate, intruder," Horsehead raised his Morning Star, giving one last sentence to give Link one last look on life.
With one press of a powerpad button, Kevin was streaming at Link, at faster than normal speeds. He grabbed Link, knocking him out of the way just moments before the Morning Star hit the wall behind where Link was standing. With Link now faceplanted into the floor, Kevin stopped, coming to one knee. "How 'bout you preparing to eat zapper, Horseface?" Instead of aiming his zapper at Horsehead, he aimed at the ceiling above the monster. One blast brought a section of ceiling cascading down on Horsehead.
"Whinny!" Horsehead blipped out of existence.
Link finally had enough of pretending to be carpet and picked himself up, rejecting help from Kevin. "Mnnn..."
Both Kevin and Zelda moved over to him. "Link, are you all right?"
"Sorry you had to eat dirt, pard-" Kevin explained, "But I just remembered, Horsehead's only vulnerable in one spot: On his head." Kevin pointed to his own head as a graphic demonstration, while giving Link a sheepish grin.
Link looked away, "Oh, yeah, right... guess I forgot." The look on his face said he didn't forget, but was just too ashamed to say otherwise.
"Hey," Kevin continued. "It could have happened to anybody under that kind of pressure."
"I can see why Lana depends on you so much, Kevin," Zelda said.
"Ahhh, it was nothing any other game master wouldn't do."
Link frowned. "Yeah. Right." He yanked his sword out of the floor, and retrieved the parchment he had dropped before he had launched himself at Horsehead. With sour overtones in his voice, he asked, "Anybody besides me interested in where this key fits?" Kevin, Zelda, and Gameboy came over and peered at the parchment. Link read the ancient writing: "The Golden Key to the Golden Door, leads across the island shore."
"I got it!" Kevin took the parchment. "It's the Island Palace. I even know a short cut through a secret tunnel."
Link pulled the parchment out of Kevin's hands. "So do I. C'mon."
Kevin stared after Link as Link walked away. "He-hey, what's bugging Link?"
Zelda stepped up to Kevin's side. "I don't know. He's never acted like this before."
"Hoot! Hoot!" a scraggly owl called from its perch above the graveyard.
"This place sure looks a lot creepier in person," Kevin commented.
Link's head turned. "That sounded like a Moa," His sword whipped out. "There it is!" A bolt from his sword smashed into a tree, sending it toppling over. "No! Over there!" Another sword blast sent another tree falling over. "They're all around us!"
Unseen by those in the party, King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard minutely raised their heads from behind the second tree Link decimated. Their sweat soaked brows speaking volumes of the scare the tree's destruction and the sword's power had given them.
"Insufficient data," Gameboy chimed. "Insufficient data."
"Link," Zelda said lowly. "I don't see anything. You're pushing too hard. Relax."
Kevin looked at Zelda. "No, Zelda. Link's right." Large floating eyeballs suddenly appeared. Kevin took aim. "Get ready guys. The name of the game is Eyeball."
Link got rid of one, Kevin zapped another. "Initiating defensive game action," Gameboy said while using his LCD stretched screen baseball bat to clobber another two Moas.
"Hurry!" Link took off running, Kevin by his side. "The tunnel entrance is right around here someplace!"
"My map from home would sure come in handy about now," Kevin mentioned.
"I can find the tunnel with my eyes cloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosssed!" Link disappeared in one downward motion. Where he was at was replaced by a gaping hole. "Aaaaahhh!" Splash! "Ooof.... cough-cough- Pweh! Pweh! Yaach." Link spat the filthy water out of his mouth, but remained sitting in it where he had landed.
"Link!" Zelda called, surprised. She jumped into the hole, followed by Kevin.
"Recommend future search with open eyes," Gameboy suggested.
After they had vanished into the hole, King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard moved over to it, looking down. Hippo half turned the single eyeball next to him, "Whoa. It sure is dark down there. You wanna go first?"
"Hey, Blimpo," Eggplant looked at Hippo with his single eye. "I'm over here."
Hippo looked at Eggplant, then looked at the other eyeball he had glanced at first... a Moa. "Waaaaaaaahhhhhh Ahhhhhhhh!!!!" Hippo and Eggplant picked up heel and ran. "Uh.. I've got a better idea! Let's take a boat!"
Sitting on a raft in the middle of the water, with the Island Palace in the distance, both Hippo and Eggplant were rowing. "Hey, Eggbreath," Hippo said to his companion. "You're sitting the wrong way."
"Uh uh," Eggplant said. He had been facing the opposite direction from Hippo. "You are. The island's behind you."
"Then let me sit over there," Hippo said. "I get seasick riding backwards." He stood.
"Wait, you're rocking the raft!" They both tumbled off. "Yaaahh!! See what you did?"
"Ah, shaddap and swim."
We're here, we're here, Kevin thought. The elevator they were on stopped, allowing them to step off.
"I can hardly believe we made it," Zelda looked around. "Now which way, Kevin?"
"What do you think, Link?"
"You're the hotshot game master. Why ask me?"
Kevin looked at him. "Huh?" What does he mean by that?
They walked down one path, coming around the bend, they were confronted with a door.
"If my memory's on target, if we open that door..." Kevin thought out loud to himself.
"Request acknowledged," Gameboy chimed. "Prepare to open door?"
"Gameboy, no!" Kevin's cry came too late. The door slid open, releasing a bulky Darknut. The Darknut's club swung wide, smashing into an Armos Knight statue, guaranteeing that Armos would never come alive. A bottle of magic fell out of the broken statue.
Link stepped forward, bringing out his sword, shooting the door's trigger, sending the door slamming shut. The door bend inwards with each blow from the Darknut, but refused to give.
"Nice move, Gameboy," Link sneered. "Did Captain N teach you that one?"
I don't believe him! Kevin spun to face Link angrily. "Hey! Go easy on him, Link. He's just learning."
"Yeah! And he almost got us wasted!" The two were about ready to tackle each other.
"Hey, c'mon guys," Zelda chided them. "We're here to find the Potion of Power, remember?"
Gameboy drew their attention to the bottle that had fallen from the statue. "Potential energy source detected."
Kevin bent to pick it up. "A bottle of magic. Good work." Kevin pocketed the bottle. "This could come in handy."
Link looked at Kevin aside. "Who needs magic when you've got brains."
Kevin could only watch Link walk away, shaking his head. I don't know about him sometimes. Kevin, Zelda, and Gameboy had to again dash to catch up with Link. This time, when they did, he was facing a circular door, glowing golden with its own kind of internal light.
"See?" Link didn't bother facing them. "I found it. The Golden Door."
"Careful, Link," Kevin warned. "This could be a trap."
Link looked over his shoulder at Kevin, disgust dripping in his voice. "Well, we're not going to find the potion waiting out here. I'm going in." He stuck the key into the keyhole next to the door. The door's three golden semicircular slaps slid out of the way. "Huuuu... uhhh?"
The door opened to reveal a suspended path, weaving between large statues. They stepped through. "Whoa. These statues are awesome," Kevin commented. After passing one, an armored man mounted on an armored horse, the man's head turned to watch them, eyes glowing briefly.
The Potion of Power hovered above a clawish pedestal. It glittered and glistened solemnly. "Look, we made it in time," Zelda said. "That must be the Potion of Power."
Coming up to it, Kevin and Link looked at each other, "I'll get it," they both said simultaneously.
"I am the guardian of the Potion of Power," a voice boomed out.
Kevin and Link turned around. Standing on the path was the armored man on the armored horse. "Whoa, that was no statue," Kevin observed. "That's Ironknuckle."
"He who desires its power must first defeat me," Ironknuckle stated.
Kevin and Link drew their respective weapons. "Move it!" Link commanded. "You're blocking my shot."
"And you almost blew it last time, remember?" Kevin reminded him. The horse charged. In the time it took Link to bring his shield out and enlarge it on his arm, Kevin fired (bringing a look of shock from Link). When Kevin's shot failed, he half turned to Link. "Try knocking him off his horse," Kevin suggested.
"I don't need you to tell me how to handle this, sorehead!" Link bellowed. Ironknuckle plowed right between Kevin and Link. "Aah!"
"Boing, boing, boing!" Gameboy buzzed. "Danger, danger, danger! Boing, boing, boing!"
It was then that Zelda looked back at the potion... "Link! Kevin! They're stealing the Potion of Power!"
Kevin turned around. "Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. What are you doing here?" Why am I asking? Should have known they'd be in this. Should have known this would be Mother Brain's work.
"Just what it looks like, Captain Ninny," King Hippo called.
Eggplant said. "And now, we're going to restore Ganon. Just like big Momma Brain ordered." Eggplant and Hippo raced out the door behind the pedestal.
"We've got to stop them.......Aaaaahhhhh!" Zelda was suddenly grabbed and hoisted into the air by Ironknuckle.
"He's got Zelda!" Link exclaimed. Link shot his sword, the bolt hit Ironknuckle's armor, barely missing Zelda, as she hung by her midsection in the crook of Ironknuckle's arm. Link looked at Kevin, despair clearly written on his face, "Okay, Kevin. Let's try it your way. This is going to take two of us." (Link's admission brought a demented smile to Kevin's face.) Link raised his sword again, this time along with Kevin and his zapper. Their blasts vaporized the horse, sending both armored man and Princess to the floor.
Zelda got up and ran back to where Kevin and Link were... and moved behind Kevin.
"This is going to be a once in a lifetime shot," Kevin said. "So make it good."
Link nodded. Zelda cocked her bow. As Ironknuckle raced at them with a long black sword drawn, Kevin's zapper bolt, Link's sword shot, and Zelda's arrow slammed into his chest.
Hippo and Eggplant ran across a span of bridge, which crumbled under their weight. Kevin, Link, and Zelda stopped running just in time to keep from plummeting into the gap. "So long, suckers!" King Hippo cheered.
"Oh, man!" Kevin said.
"Thanks a bunch, fellas," Eggplant joined in. "We couldn't have done it without you."
The four were left on the otherside. Humiliated, Link was looking down at his feet. "This is my fault. I acted like a jerk 'cause you were such a whiz kid on my turf."
"Now we'll never get past Ganon's creatures in time to stop them," Zelda frowned.
Somebody had to look on the brightside. "Oh yes we can. We're awesome when we work together," Kevin offered.
Link looked at Kevin, smiling his first genuine smile of friendship at Kevin, "Instead of against each other." (These guys are geniuses, aren't they?) He was evidently relieved Kevin wasn't going to hold this against him.
Kevin turned. "Gameboy. Warp to the palace and bring back the N Team."
Inside Death Mountain's largest chamber, on a dark stone tablet, placed atop a stone pyramid, laid a cute looking pig surrounded by Hippo, Eggplant, and Mother Brain. "Give it to me," the pig said in a strangled voice. "Give me the potion," He held up two cute piggy hands, awaiting the potion.
"Hurry," Mother Brain prompted, "and give him the potion."
"Yeah," Eggplant said. He lowered the potion closer to the cute pig.
"Give me the potion."
"No! Stop!" Zelda's voice rang out from the darkness at the bottom of the underground stone pyramid.
"Hurry, do it now," Mother Brain said.
The potion was handed to awaiting cute pink piggy hands. Its mouth was raised to cute piggy lips, which spilled and drooled the potion, in a rather cute way. Almost immediately, the cute pig began growing, changing from cute pink to ugly barely brown. Pudgy hands elongated into long cruel fingers. The short farm pig snout pushed out into one that could top a warthog, and was twice as ugly than one even a warthog could spout. The cute little pig was now quite a good size bigger, and much uglier.
"Link!" Ganon called out. "So nice to see you again. And you brought your friends to my coming out party." Without seeming to do so, Ganon caused the ground to start violently shaking.
"Oh no!" cried the heroes, the ones who originally set out on this quest, and those Gameboy hand fetched.
"If you're trying to scare me," Simon Belmont began... a crack developed between his feet and widened... "You're doing a good job!" Debris started falling, forcing everyone to dodge.
Kevin pulled out his zapper, Link pulled him back. "Forget your zapper. He's much too powerful. We're going to have to fight fire with fire."
"I got ya," Kevin said, pulling out the bottle of magic he had stuck in his pocket. He opened it and started pouring it on Link's shield. "I don't know what this does, but I sure hope it works."
"No one can withstand the power of Ganon," Ganon boasted. "Videoland is mine!"
"Wait a minute," Mother Brain protested. "I don't like freelancers. You're suppose to be working for me."
"Ganon works for no one," Ganon raised a hand, sending a shockwave that knocked Mother Brain over on her formaldehyde filled jar side.
Kevin and Link stepped forward. "Take your best shot, Ganon," Kevin taunted.
Ganon faced them. Opening his arms, he increased in size, becoming even large, and more formidable. It did startle the heroes, but still they stood their ground. "He who dares to defy Ganon will pay the ultimate price!" A bolt of frightening proportions leapt from Ganon's hands, flying right at Link. The bolt hit Link's shield... but the repel magic on Link's shield sent it flying back... the magic on the shield was so strong, Link wasn't even knocked back in the slightest.
The bolt hit Ganon. A whirlwind, rather vortex-like formed. It picked Mother Brain, Eggplant, and Hippo on it's way out through a large crack in the ceiling. Vanished, only the heroes were left standing in the chamber.
Kevin looked at Link. "That reflect magic is awesome stuff!"
Link smiled, "I'll get you some, for your next birthday."
Cheering arose from the entire group, variations of the classic 'alright!' (Including one Alrighticus) Zelda jogged up. "You did it! We saved Hyrule, thanks to you," she kissed Link on the cheek, "and you." She kissed Kevin on the cheek. "The best team of heroes ever."
More cheering arose (Including another Alrighticus).