On the dark and dangerous world of Metroid, the evil Mother Brain is about to discover a sinister secret.

"Power! I must have more power!" Mother Brain screamed.
Eggplant Wizard pulled out a flashlight and took out the batteries. "Uhhh, here Mother Brain. Take my flashlight batteries."
The evil brain was not amused. "Not that kind of power you whistling weakling!" She gave the veggie a jolt of electricity, and frowned. "I want the power to reach my destiny. The power to rule VideoLand! But most important of all, the power to destroy the princess, that hylian brat, and Captain N! Metroid mirror on my wall, tell me how to crush them once and for all!
The mirror flashed, and an image appeared, three dots pinpointing locations on Angel Land.
"Hidden within Mount Olympus' towering peak, the 3 sacred treasures contain the power you seek. For 10,000 years they've been a sight unseen, but bringing the treasures together, and you'll soon be queen."
"Yes. Queen Mother Brain, supreme dictator of all VideoLand. What a wonderful thought. Get me the princess!"
"Yes, Mother Brain," replied Dr. Wily.

"Kevin, hurry!"
Kevin smiled as he heard Lana. "Don't worry, princess. I'll be right there in a flash." He jumped over a fireball, and deflected another blast with his energy shield.
"Nice try, Kevin," Kid Icarus remarked.
Kevin smiled. "This life-sized Donkey Kong simulator is awesome!"
Suddenly, Mother Brain appeared on a screen.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
Lana sighed as she answered. "If you've called to threaten us again, it won't work Mother Brain."
Bass nodded as he procceeded to flip the brain off, but Megaman stopped him,
"You're absoulutely right, my dear," Mother Brain replied. "Threatening hasn't worked. And I apologize for my rude behavior. All of this fighting gets us nowhere. What do you say we settle our differences in a more sportsman-like way?"
Lana turned to face Kevin, a concerned look on her face. "I don't trust her. She's up to something."
"When isn't she?" Kevin replied.
"What do you suggest, Mother Brain?" Reinhardt asked.
Mother Brain smiled. "A challenge. We'll hold a Videolympics on Mount Olympus. My warriors, eh uh, athletes against the N-Team. If we lose, we'll never set foot off Metroid again. If we win, I'll be the new princess of VideoLand."
Kid Icarus smiled devilishly at Lana. "This is what we've been waiting for, Lana. A chance for peace."
"I know, but Mother Brain can't be trusted. What if it's a trick?"
Bass just shrugged. "Well, if it is, what better way to find out than to go along with it? Always works for me."
"What if we lose?"
Simon laughed at the idea. "Lose? With me on our team? Don't be ridiculous."
Megaman nodded at the idea that they couldn't lose. "With Captain N leading us and Bass on our side, we'll have the power to win. What do you say, your highness?"
Lana sighed. "Well, I guess..."
Bass smiled, and stuck his tongue out at Mother Brain. "You're on, Brainiac!!"
"Wonderful. We'll see you at Mount Olympus Colisseum tomorrow for the games. And for your funerals, fools!"

A short while later, in the palace courtyard, Kevin and the others go into training to prepare themselves for the upcoming games.

Kevin looked over the team with a smile. "All right guys. We've gotta get into prime shape if we're gonna win."
Simon yawned. "Simon Belmont is always in prime shape. I can out jump rope you with my eyes close." He started to use his whip as a jump rope, but soon got tired, and the whip just kept going! "Hey! Stop! Take is easy you stupid whip! Cut it out! Whoa! Ahh!"
Kevin started to laugh at the site of Simon getting tangled up in his whip. "I'm not sure about you, Simon, but your whip's in great shape."
"Very funny."
"What am I supposed to do with these balls, Kevin?" Megaman asked.
"It's simple Rock. You just place it like this, and throw it as far as you can." Kevin threw the ball, and smiled. "Like that. Go ahead, you try it."
Megaman picked up a ball, and tossed it, sending the metal ball screaming over Simon's head
"Hey!" Simon yelled.
Kid Icarus was shooting arrows at a target, when the ball flew over his head, through the target and kept going.
"Yai! Watch out!"
"That was incredible!" Kevin said.
"You can count on me to win the archery event," Kid Icarus remarked, and he fired off an arrow.
Everyone looked to see Simon walk in, an energy arrow sticking out of his rear end. "What, may I ask, were you aiming at?"
"The target."
Simon pointed at his rear, which had the arrow in it. "Does this look like a target to you?"
Kid Icarus recocked his crossbow, and the arrow vanished from Simon's rear. "Well, sooorry," he replied sarcastically.
"Ooh! Here!" Simon grabbed a large long bow, and stuck Kid on the string. "Let me show you how to hit the bull's eye!" He fired Kid Icarus at the straw target with the bow, and Kid climbed out, a pissed off look on his face.
"You big butthole!!" He flew fast at Simon, but Simon ducked, and Kid flew right over him, slamming into Megaman. "Whoa!"
They both fell into the shotput balls, and the balls rolled all over the place, causing the other N-Team members to slip on them and fall over.

Halfway across VideoLand, at the strange world of Punch Out, Mother Brain's minions are also getting ready for the games.

In a gym, Eggplant Wizard was jump roping with a giant fry.
"One potato, two potato, three potato, four. After I skip this rope, I am one potato more!" He stopped, made ketchup appear, and smothered it on the fry, chowing down. "Ahh! Delicious!"
Meanwhile, Dracula was punching at a bag, having a blast. "I love punching the punching bag." After hitting the bag hard, Dracula shoved his teeth into the bag, instantly deflating it. "But I love biting them even better!! Ah ha ha!!"
"All right, Hippo, let's see if you can lift this much weight," Wily said to King Hippo.
Hippo looked at the bar, and laughed. "Ha ha! No sweat." He lifted up part of the entire building, which the bar was attached to.
Mother Brain rolled in, a nasty look on her face.
"Hey! Mother Brain!" Hippo called. "How'd you like the way I cleaned the dirt with this weight?"
"I'll clean your face, dirt, if you don't stop fooling around!" the brain yelled.
Confused, Hippo put the bar down. "Wah? But we're practicin' for the games, just like you told us to."
"I didn't expect you to practice sports. I expected you to practice cheating, you hippopotmus head!"
This really confused Eggy. "But, but why do we need to cheat if we're just going to destroy them with the power of the three sacred treasures?"
Mother Brain groaned. Why me?! she thought. "Because, you coliflour brain, winning the games will improve my image as ruler of VideoLand." She rolled off, and Hippo smiled.
"Well, if it's cheatin' she wants, it's cheatin' she'll get." He pulled out a toll box and dumped a bunch of wrenches in his glove. "Like my famous wreckin'-ball punch!"
Eggy smiled. "Yeah. And my broccoli bazooka!" He pulled out the weapon, but accidentally fired the broccoli at King Hippo's back.
"Why, you!!"
"No! Wait! It was an accident!"
Hippo growled and grabbed Eggy. "I'll give you an accident on purpose!" He threw Eggy into the ring, and Wily, itching for a good laugh, rang the bell.
"Defend yourself!"
"Ok. You asked for it." Eggy replied. "I'll squash you!" Aiming his wand, Eggy turned King Hippo into a squash.
"And I'll beat you!"
Hippo then transformed into a beat. "Huh?"
"And I'll get you in an artichoke hold!" Eggy fired again and turned Hippo into an artichoke.
"Wah!" Hippo stomped, the ground, making it shake.
Eggy went flying forward, screaming. "No!"
Hippo saw the Veggie wand fall to the ground "Oh yeah?" He took the wand and broke it, reverting back to normal. "Well I'm gonna give you the ol' Flyin' Hippo/Eggplant Jam Slam!"
"No! Not the Flyin' Hippo/Eggplant Jam Slam!"
Hippo went flying off the ropes and crushed Eggy, sending out white goo that hit the others in the face.

Meanwhile, back at the Palace of Power, the princess grows fearful of losing Mother Brain's challenge.

"I'm the most handsome, so after we win the games, my face goes on the cereal box!" Simon yelled as he put his head in the hole of the cereal box. Bass grabbed the box from him. "Hey!"
"I should be on the box!" Bass shot back. "I'm the strongest!" To prove it, he grabbed Simon by the foot and lifted him up.
Kid Icarus flew by and grabbed the box, landing and folding his wings back. "The games are being held on my world, so I should be on the box!!"
They all pulled on it and started arguing.
"Stop it!" Lana yelled. "None of you are going to be on the box if we don't win the games tomorrow."
"Don't worry, princess," Kevin said. "I know how to get these guys into shape. All right guys. One hundred push-ups, let's move it.
Kevin dropped down and started doing push-ups, going so fast that not even Megaman could count them all. Simon, Bass, and Kid Icarus did theirs slowly at first.
An hour later, they were doing jumping jacks, Link and Kevin not even breaking a sweat, while Simon was gasping for breath. The CastleVanian fell over, gasping for air.
Later, they were running. Simon hid behind a wall, exhausted, but Kid fired an arrow over his head, scaring the vampire hunter.
Kevin put a bunch of egg yokes into a glass of water. Everyone else ran off, disgusted as Kevin smiled and drank it.
Link and Kevin showed them the rope climb, and Simon used his whip while Kid just flew up to the top.
Later, they were arm wrestling Megaman, and Simon and Kid went flying after two seconds. Only Bass could stay in his seat.

The next day, on Angel Land, thousands have gathered to watch as their fate is decided in the Videolympics.

"Now don't forget to keep an eye out for anything suspicious." Kevin said, reminding everyone.

"Now remember." Mother Brain said to her "athletes". "It's not whether you win or lose..."
Eggplant Wizard jumped forward. "But how you play the game!"
"No, you idiot!!" She quickly electrocutued him.
"I've arranged for these events to be where the 3 locations where the sacred treasures are buried!" Mother Brain continued. "And once I posess their sacred power, I'll destroy Captain N and the princess! Then VideoLand will be mine! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

"Ladies and gentlemen of VideoLand! Let the games begin!"
Lana looked into Kevin's eyes. "You can do it, Kevin. I know you can."
"The first event: Regular tag team wrestling."
Kevin and Kid entered the rising ring, and King Hippo entered
"Geeze! I'm too light to wrestle him! If Hippo sits on me, I'll be squashed!"
"They picked our names out of a hat, Kid. We'll just have to do the best be can."
"Just a moment. There's been a mistake in the draw."
King Hippo exited the ring, much to the surprise of Kevin and Kid Icarus.
"Lard Ball's out of the match?!"
"Wrestling for King Hippo will be, Donkey Kong!"
Donkey Kong entered the ring and roared.
"Oh no!" Lana cried.
"First to pin an opponent to the mat is the winner. No holds barred."
"You take care of Eggplant Wizard," Kevin said to Kid. Then, more to himself, "I'll handle Donkey Kong. Yeah, sure I will."
"Come on, Kid Icky. Make your move."
Kid Icarus tried to lift his foot up, but nothing happened. Eggplant Wizard laughed at the situation. "What a shrimp, just like Pit!" He made vegetables appear and they fell on Kid Icarus. "And every shrimp needs a shrimp salad. Oops, almost forgot the bread sticks."
"Come on, Kid!! You gotta use leverage!!" Kevin yelled.
Kid managed to lift Eggplant Wizard up by the foot and pinned him.
"One! Two!"
Suddenly, Eggy tagged Donkey Kong's foot.
"Uh, Donkey Kong has been tagged!"
Donkey Kong entered the rink, picked Eggplant Wizard up and set him down. He roared, beat his chest, and pinned Kid Icarus with his finger.
"Let me go!!" He fired an arrow with a hand on it to Kevin.
"One! Two!"
Kevin grabbed the arrow, and jumped into the ring. "Ok, you big ape! Pick on someone your own size! Like Diddy Kong!!"
Donkey Kong bent over and grinned at Kevin.
"Oh no." Lana looked away.
There was a loud crash, and Donkey Kong was sitting on the mat.
"One! Two! Three! And the winner is Donkey Kong!" He lifted at Donkey Kong's arm, and Donkey Kong raised it fast, sending the announcer flying. "Whaaa!"
Donkey Kong jumped out of the ring, and Kevin and Kid Icarus climb out of the hole, dizzied.
"Donkey Kong wins the first event. The score: Mother Brain's team one, the N-Team zero."

"Ha! We don't need the three sacred treasures, Mother Brain, we're gonna pulverize those pipsqueaks," Hippo commented.
Mother Brain nodded. "I'm sure we are. But that's no reason I shouldn't have the greatest source of power in VideoLand. Go get me the first sacred treasure."

"That's not fair," Lana remarked. "Donkey Kong weighs more than you."
"Are you kidding?!" Kevin replied. "He weighs more than the Cubs and the Dodgers put together!"

"In the next event, Megaman and Dr. Wily will compete in the 400 yard dash. Through the Electric Maze."

Megaman and Dr. Wily got to the starting line, and Megaman readied his speed boosters.
"On your mark, get set, go!"
Megaman and Wily took off up the stairs, Megaman in the lead.
"Megaman is off to a good start."
Megaman ducked under the electricity and climbed the ladder. Wily got to his side as Megaman was climbing. The N-Team cheered him on as he climbed.
"Come on, Megaman! You can do it!"
Wily stopped and looked up
"Dr. Wily is falling behind as Megaman approaches the finish line."
Dr. Wily took out a blader, programmed it, and released it. It sped up and faced Megaman from above, the blue bomber stopping with a surprised look. The blader shot him with electricity and he fell off the ladder in pain, blasting apart as he hit the midway point.
"Whoa, aaahhhh!!"
"He's de-digitized!"
Wily reached the top, an evil grin on his face.
"And Dr. Wily wins the Electric Maze Dash. It's two to nothing for Mother Brain's team."
"Get this gunk off me before I have you frozen in butter sauce!" Mother Brain yelled, her jar covered in gunk.
"Uhh, sorry Mother Brain." Eggy replied, and he licked at the goo.
Megaman re-digitized next to the N-Team, a sorry look on his face. "Sorry, your highness. I tried."
"It's not your fault, Megaman," Lana replied. "They cheated."

Meanwhile, in a sunken chamber beneath the surface of Mount Olympus, King Hippo searches for the first sacred treasure...

"Uh! Flyin' rats! Uck!" He opened a bag and a snake popped out. "Yeaaahhhh!!" He opened another and a clawed hand choked him. He fells back, free, and landed on a switch. The sacred treasure came up from an opening on the ground. "The first sacred treasure!" Hippo took it and entered a warp some flying rats following him.

Back at the towering Mount Olympus, the Videolympics Colisseum arrives at the location of the next event.

"And now, Princess Lana and King Hippo will compete in the Waterfall High Dive."
King Hippo arrived by Mother Brain, the flying rats right behind him.
"Ew! Yah! Get off of me!"
"What took you so long?!" Mother Brain yelled, and King Hippo pointed at the rats as they flew off. "Never mind, just get out there before you're disqualified!!"
"Yes, Mother Brain."
Mother Brain took the the treasure and laughed. "One down, two to go."

"I'm a little nervous about diving down these floating waterfalls." Lana said.
"Speaking of waterfalls," Kevin replied. "There's something familiar about the places these games are being held."
Hippo climbed up the ladder to the diving board.
"Dives will be judged on a combination of their grace and difficulty. Uh, not to mention steering clear of the flying sharks."
"Flying sharks?!" Lana yelled. "You never said anything about flying sharks!"
Kevin smiled. "Eh heh. I didn't want to worry you."
Rush jumped out, did a triple flip, and landed in the water. Surprisingly, he got pretty decent scores.
"Nice dive, Rush!"
"Hey! Wah, no fair! Dogs don't count." Hippo objected.
"And hippos do?" Kevin shot back.
"That's enough," Lana cut in. "We'll settle this with a dive. Age before beauty."
"Hm." Hippo jumped out and dropped with his arms out for a while.
"King Hippo is dropping like a bomb. But he'll get a low score if he doesn't put a little more bite into it."
Suddenly, a shark bit Hippo in the rear.
"Yeow!" He started spinning around and fell in the water, soaking the judges. Much to everyone's surprise, the judges gave his dive an almost perfect score!

"Quick, get me the second sacred treasure!"
"Yes, your wrinkledness." Eggy replied, earning an electro blast. "Yeahhh!"
"Never say the word wrinkles around me!! These are beauty lines. Now get going!!"

"King Hippo got an awfully high score." Lana said, worried.
"Don't worry, Lana," Kevin replied. "You can, and will beat him."
Lana stepped up to the platform, took a deep breath, and dove. She flipped and dodged the sharks, getting all 10's, and the crowd cheered.
"Princess Lana wins the high dive! It's Mother Brain's Team two, the N-Team one!"

"Way do go, Princess! Yahoo!!"
"Um, not bad, not bad," Simon remarked.
"Hm. I could've done better, and I don't even have a body," Mother Brain commented.
The platform descended and Kevin and Lana got off. Eggplant Wizard snuck onto it and it rose to the pool. He put on a mask with a snorkel and entered the water. He swam down, but couldn't get the treasure free. Just then, an arm wiggle out and helped him
"Thanks," Eggy said, gurgling, then he saw that the arm was from an octopus. "AAAHHHH!!!!"
He flew out of the water, screaming, and landed on top of Mother Brain. "I got it, Mother Brain!"
"Two down, one to go."

"Ahh," Simon sighed as he went down the ski slope, but then Dracula shoved him into the snow with his skis.

King Hippo lifted a bar with a lot of weight on it, smiling as he did so. that's when he felt rather light, looked down, and saw that Bass was lifting him and the weights up, with one hand!

"As the final event approaches, the score is tied. The fate of VideoLand will be decided by the outcome of the Ten Kilometer Rocket Chariot Race."

Maybe she's after a special warp. Nah, could be a secret password. No, passwords don't work in VidoLand.... Ah, this is driving me crazy. I'm certain I've played something like this before, but I can't remember what. Kevin thought. He knew that it was something about the three locations that was so familiar.
"On your mark, get set, go!"
The racers took off, ripping up the track.
"And they're off! King Hippo has taken an early lead."
Wily pressed a button and his chariot turned into a submarine, diving into the ground.
Kid looked around, perplexed at where the mad docter had gone. "Where'd he go?!"
Wily targeted Kid Icarus and fired a torpedo that ate up his chariot, and Kid crashed to the ground
"It looks like Kid Icarus is out of the race!"
"So long, Kid Idiot!" Wily called back, and turned forward. He gasped and flew into a gong, flying off his chariot.
"Dr. Wily's been given the gong."
"Hey, Simon. Can I offer you a piece of fruit?" Eggy said, and he used his rod to turn Simon's chariot into a banana.
Simon crashed to the ground, banana covering him. "Whoa!"
"Simon Belmont has really slipped up this time."
Eggplant Wizard laughed, but gasped before crashing into a tree.
"The Eggplant Wizard has really been scrambled this time! It's down to Captain N and King Hippo!"
"It's time for a turbo boost!" Kevin hit the Z button on his Glove and sped up. "So long, Hippo Man!"
Hippo laughed at the human. "Ah ha! Captain N is goin' 'N' for nowhere." He punched Kevin's chariot and broke it in two.
"Uh oh. Captain N is in big trouble!"
"Kevin!" Link and Lana yelled at the same time.
Kevin grabbed a hoverboard and smiled "Glad I grabbed this." He went sailing over the wreckage of his chariot, and raced after Hippo.
"They're approaching the finish line. King Hippo looks unbeatable."
Hippo entered a warp on the ground, vanishing from sight.
"Wait a minute. He's taken a wrong turn! Captain N has done it! The N-Team has defeated Mother Brain!"
Suddenly, King Hippo came out of the warp with the third treasure, delivering it to Mother Brain's outstretched tentacles
"At last, all three are mine!!"
"That's it!" Kevin realized.
"What's it?" Lana asked.
"What Mother Brain is after! It's the three sacred treasures of Angel Land!"
Mother Brain laughed evilly as she held all three treasures. "You're too right, Captain N! But unfortunately, you're also too late!!" She opened the treasures, and energy came pouring out from them. "My power is unstoppable now! Behold! The Warp to the Oblivion Zone! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

Has Mother Brain really conquered VideoLand?

Kevin and the others stared as the black swirling Warp opened beneath them and sucked them in. Kevin grabbed onto a rock as the N-Team fell into the warp, and the rock broke away, Kevin flying towards the Warp.

Will Captain N and the others survive the deadly Oblivion Zone? Find out, in the next episode of The New Adventures of Captain N: The Game Master.


Copyright 1999 by Chris Blair