Captain N: The Game Master
Saturday, October 31, 1992, 8:30 AM
"Kevin?" Lana asked, staring at him. "Are you okay? You haven't touched
"Do you know what today is?" Kevin asked, looking up at her from his bowl
of Cocoa Puffs.
"Saturday?" Lana asked with a smile.
Kevin shook his head. "That's not what I mean. It's October 31st -
Lana scratched her head. "Halloween?"
"It's the day of the year when people get dressed up in costumes." Rick
explained. "Kids go out door to door asking for candy, and people tell scary
stories and have a great time partying."
"So, what's the problem?" Lana asked Kevin.
"Well, every year, Mike always scares me with something. This happened
both when we were friends and when we were enemies. I'm sure he's come up
with something again this year."
"And you're preoccupied with it." Lana realized and laughed. "Don't worry
about it, Kevin. Once Mike has his laugh, it'll be all over."
"Yeah, until next year." Kevin said with a groan. He stared dejectedly at
his bowl of Cocoa Puffs.
"Not hungry?" Rick asked.
Kevin shook his head.
"Then gimme." the football player said, extending his left arm across the
kitchen table to Kevin.
Kevin handed Rick his bowl.
"Take mine up, please?" Rick asked.
"Sure." Kevin said emotionlessly. He took the bowl from Rick, got up, and
went over to the sink.
He threw the bowl and spoon into the sink and opened the cold water.
"Keene!" a voice suddenly moaned eerily.
"What was that?" Kevin asked, looking around.
"What was what?" Lana asked.
"Keeennneee!" the voice moaned again, slower this time, and louder.
"That!" Kevin said.
Suddenly, a purplish creature faded into view in the sink. It was a small
monster with large yellow eyes - and it started growing!
Kevin jumped back, yelling.
The others stood up, and Stacey let out a shriek.
"I'm gonna kick your aaaaaaasssssss!!!!!!!" the monster moaned. "Booo!!!"
Kevin yelled again, drawing his Zapper. He fired at the monster.
The monster suddenly disappeared, and the beam from Kevin's Zapper hit
the side of the bowl. It knocked the bowl up against the wall. The bowl then
bounced off the wall and landed on Kevin's head.
Poor Kevin. The bowl was full of water!
"Huh? Where'd the monster go?" Kevin asked.
Mike walked into the kitchen, laughing. "Oh, yeah!" He was holding a
hand-held holographic projector/microphone in his left hand, and a camcorder
in his right. "Got ya again, Keene!"
Lana, Stacey, and Rick laughed as Kevin frowned, took the bowl off his
head, and shook his head rapidly to dry his hair. He threw the bowl back in
Mike spoke into the microphone again: "Mike is the Halloween Scare Master
of the Universe! Say it, Keeennneee!"
"You got the 'Scare' part right." Kevin said.
"You tape these things?" Lana asked.
"Always have." Mike said, then laughed again. "I laugh my ass off every
time I watch this tape!"
He stopped recording and set the camera and holographic projector down on
the kitchen counter.
"So, anyway, guys," Mike said, "I'm throwing a really scary Halloween
party at my house. It'll be cool. Wanna come?"
"Like, I dunno, Mike." Stacey said. "Can you prove that it'll be cool?"
"Yeah, and scary?" Lana added.
"Well, sure." Mike replied. "I'll be there, and I'm cool. And we'll be
listening to Michael Jackson, and he's scary."
Kevin, Lana, Rick, and Stacey all looked at each other.
"What the hell, I got nothin' better to do." Kevin said finally. "Count
me in, Mike!"
"Yeah, me, too." Lana added.
"Like, ditto!" Stacey agreed.
"Sure." Rick joined in.
Mike grinned. "Great! Let's go to Earth and start decorating!"
So, they all went to Northridge. They went shopping and bought the most
frightening decorations they could think of. When they got to Mike's house,
they started decorating.
"Nice!" Mike said, nodding to Stacey in approval.
"You like?" Stacey asked.
"You bet! There's nothin' like a mangled corpse with automated arms to
scare the crap outta people!"
Stacey grinned happily.
"Hey, Mike," Rick asked, walking over to him, "where do I put the bowl of
apples and severed hands?"
"Um, . . . " Mike thought, then pointed. "On the dining room table."
"What a centerpiece." Lana commented.
Kevin smiled. "Nothin' like bobbing for digits!" He laughed.
Mike walked over to Lana, who was standing on a ladder.
"How's the ceiling ornament coming, Lana?" he asked.
"Almost done." Lana said. "There." She looked down at him. "You now have
your very own hologram-projecting, red and orange disco ball!"
Mike rubbed his hands together. "It's all mine!" He threw his head back
and laughed: "Ah-ha-ha-ha!!!"
Lana climbed down. "You worry me sometimes."
Mike grinned devilishly. "I know."
"Listen, can I invite Kristen to the party?" Lana asked.
Mike smiled. "Sure."
Lana smiled. "Thanks."
Mike looked at all of them. "All right, guys, congrats! This place is
really startin' to look scary!"
"Too bad Julius is still in Kongoland with Romeo." Kevin said. "He'd add
the final touch!"
Early that evening, Rick and Simon walked out of a shop on Castlevania.
Rick was walking to Simon's right and was carrying a large paper bag in
"Thanks for taking me shopping, Simon." Rick said. "These monster corpses
will definitely add atmosphere to Mike's party."
"Don't mention it." Simon said. "Where to next?"
Rick shrugged. "I dunno. Where's a good place to get vampire clothing?"
"Why, Fred's Freaky Flannels, of course!" Simon said. "This way!"
"Come on in, guys!" Mike said, inviting some of his buddies into the
The guys came in, slapping Mike fives.
"These are some of my new friends: Kevin, Lana, and Stacey." Mike said.
Mike's buds nodded at them, and they nodded back.
"Well, guys, the punch bowl is right over there. Help yourselves." Mike
told them, pointing at the punch bowl on a nearby table.
The trio nodded and walked over to it.
"Well, Mike, I must say I'm impressed!" Kevin said. He looked around the
room. "Dim lights, creepy music on the stereo, awesome decor - it's a blast,
Mike smiled. "Thanks. Now if only Rick can hurry up and get here. A party
just isn't a party without rotting, stinking corpses!"
The four of them were definitely dressed for Halloween. Kevin was dressed
as the Count from Castlevania. Mike was dressed as Trevor Belmont. Lana was
dressed as a werewolf. Stacey was dressed as a mummy.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it." Lana said.
She walked over to the screen door, unlocked it, and opened it.
Another werewolf was standing there. "Is this where the party is?"
"Yeah." Lana said.
Lana nodded. "Yeah. Kristen?"
Kristen nodded. "Yeah." She took off her werewolf's head.
Lana took her werewolf's head off, too.
Kristen smiled. "Hi."
Lana smiled back at her. "Hi."
"Ooh, nice!" Kristen said, rubbing Lana's werewolf costume. "Werewolves
turn me on." she whispered with a throaty growl into Lana's right ear. Then
Kristen howled: "Ooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Lana was momentarily frightened. Of course, this being Halloween - and
California - the other party guests thought nothing of it.
Kristen came into the living room, where she said hi to Kevin, Mike, and
"Hey, matching costumes!" Mike noticed. "You two could be each other's
"Yeah, yeah, let's get our instruments set up." Lana said, changing the
Kristen put her left arm around Lana. "Dance with me later?"
Lana nodded. "Fine. Now get your arm off me."
Kristen did, and grinned, pleased.
Lana, Kevin, Mike, and Stacey made their way to their instruments.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. "Trick or treat!"
"Oh, excuse me, guys." Mike said, and went over to the screen door.
He opened it and put a few wrapped goodies into each child's bag - from a
"Thank you!" they said, and left.
Mike rejoined Kevin, Lana, and Stacey by their instruments. He had on a
"What's so funny?" Kevin asked, then smiled as he remembered. "You did it
again, didn't you?"
Mike nodded. "Yep!"
"What did you do?" Lana asked.
Mike burst out laughing. "I put wrapped ice cubes in their paper bags!
Eventually, the ice will melt, and then . . . "
Lana frowned. "That's mean!"
Mike laughed again. "Yeah, but I get free candy off the sidewalk every
"Well, what about the kids that use plastic or cloth bags?" Stacey asked.
"Well, I can't melt their bags and steal their candy," Mike said, "but I
know there's nothing quite as memorable as a little boy or girl taking their
first excited bite of that sweet caramel-covered onion."
Lana made a disgusted face. "Gross!"
"C'mon, guys, let's play." Kevin said. He turned off the stereo.
Mike sat down by his drums. Kevin and Lana plugged in their guitars. They
turned on their amplifier and tuned their instruments. Stacey turned on her
Then they all turned on their microphones.
Mike went into the Count's accent. "Welcome, everyone! Happy Halloween!"
He immediately had the attention of all the party guests.
"Tonight," Mike continued in the accent, "prepare to be frightened by
creepy music from one of my favorite video games - Castlevania III! Let us
entertain you, and then we'll suck your blood! Ha, ha, ha, ha!"
"Let's do it!" Kevin said. "One, two, three, four!"
They started off by playing "Beginning", the Stage 01 music. After that
came "Destiny", the map music. That led into "Mad Forest", the Stage 03
music. They finished the Castlevania III medley with "Game Over".
The party guests gave a thunderous cheer and applause. The band members
"We're gonna take a break." Kevin announced. He turned the stereo and the
creepy music back on.
"That was great!" Stacey said.
"It's gotta be one of our best performances!" Lana added.
"All right, everyone, gather around!" Mike called in his normal voice.
Mike sat down on the floor, cross-legged, and everyone else soon joined
"It's time for scary stories! Oooohhhh!!!" Mike moaned, wiggling his
fingers in front of himself.
Kevin, Lana, Kristen, and Stacey looked at each other uncertainly.
"Once there was a haunted house. Oooohhhh!!!" Mike said. "Under the house
was a tunnel which led to the frightening, creepy land of . . . Japan, yeah!
Oooohhhh! And in Japan, there was - "
Back on Castlevania, Rick and Simon walked out of a shop.
"I think that's enough stuff." Rick said, then looked at his watch. "Oh,
man! The party started ten minutes ago! Shoot, I gotta get there!"
"You're not going anywhere!" a voice said.
Rick and Simon looked straight ahead.
"Yipe! It's the Count!" Simon yelled, dropping the bags he was carrying.
"We meet again, Simon Belmont!" the Count said. "You have proved
yourself a worthy opponent, so I promise you your death will be quick! Your
friend, here, won't be so fortunate!"
This was the first time Rick Walker had met the Count, but he wasn't all
that frightened of him. "Yeah, well, you're a lousy fortune teller." Rick
said with a smile. He dropped the bags he was carrying, got his Super Scope
off his back, and fired a blast at the Count.
The Count ducked, and the blast went over him. He stood up straight. "If
that's your best, you're in serious trouble!"
Just then, some monsters rose out of the ground. They were a werewolf, a
mummy, a Skull Knight, Mr. Bones, and Frankenstein.
Simon, trembling, got his whip ready.
"Prepare to meet your doom!" the Count said. "Attack, my children!"
The Count and the monsters approached the two heroes.
Rick and Simon took a step backward.
"This is a little too scary!" Rick said. "I'm sure Mike's party ain't
nearly as frightening as this!"
At the party, Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' started blaring from the
It's close to midnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark.
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart.
You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it.
You start to freeze, as horror looks you right between the eyes.
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night,
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike!
You know it's thriller, thriller night!
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller, tonight!
Everyone at the party was dancing and having a great time. The disco ball
was spinning and sending out holographic images of monsters all over the
room, accompanied by creepy sound effects. The entire room was colored black
and orange by the lighting effects.
Kristen and Lana were dancing together, as Lana had promised, and Kristen
was performing every sexy dance move she could think of. Lana actually got
into it as much as Kristen did. They removed their werewolf costumes as they
began to sweat. The two girls were touching each other in places that aren't
normally touched in dancing. Each thrust by one was being met by the other.
Kevin, dancing with Stacey, watched them rather uneasily.
Back on Castlevania, Rick and Simon were fighting off the monsters as
best as they could, but the bad guys kept approaching.
Rick pulled a warp zone opener out of his pocket, hoping to provide him
and Simon a means of escape.
Suddenly, the werewolf made a swipe at him and knocked the opener out of
The opener landed on the ground, face down. It opened a swirling blue
Rick hit the dirt and rolled over to the opener.
Simon ran towards the warp.
Rick picked up the opener. "Oh, crap!" he said when he read the display.
He looked up and saw Simon enter the warp.
The Count and the rest of the monsters followed.
Rick jumped to his feet and ran in after them.
It turned out that the warp led to Mike's living room!
The party guests stopped dancing and looked at it. Kristen and Lana held
onto each other.
Out came Simon. He yelled when he saw how things looked different.
Out came the Count and the rest of the monsters. They didn't seem to care
about appearances. They only wanted to tear Simon apart.
The party guests all ran away from them, yelling.
Out came Rick. He, of course, didn't think anything of the differences in
the appearances of Videoland and Earth. He just started blasting the Count
with his Super Scope.
The warp closed.
The party guests were all screaming now - except for the N Teamsters and
"Sorry I'm late, guys!" Rick called.
"You can explain later! Let's kick some ass!" Mike yelled.
Kevin, Lana, and Mike ran and got their Zappers, and Stacey ran and got
her boomerang. Kevin fought Mr. Bones, Lana went up against the werewolf,
Mike took on Frankenstein, Rick battled the Skull Knight, and Stacey handled
the mummy. Even Simon stopped running, turned, and went one-on-one with the
They're out to get you; there's demons closing in on every side.
They will possess you, unless you change the number on your dial.
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together.
All through the night, I'll save you from the terror on the screen.
I'll make you see
That this is thriller, thriller night,
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try!
The N Teamsters were slowly defeating the monsters. First Mr. Bones went.
Then the Skull Knight crumbled. The mummy's bandages soon fell to the floor.
Darkness falls across the land.
The midnight hour is close at hand.
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'awl's neighbourhood.
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell.
The werewolf was fried. Soon after, Franky was put out of commision.
The Count was the only one that remained.
Rick opened the warp again, and he and the rest of the N Teamsters helped
Simon drive the vampire back towards it.
A surfer, who came to the party wearing only swimming trunks, was looking
at the warp. He shook his head with a smile. "Great special effects, man!"
Kristen, who was standing to his left, gave him a glance, then focused on
the battle again.
Stacey threw her boomerang at the Count. It struck him in the chest.
"Bleh, bleh!" the Count yelled, being knocked into the warp.
Stacey caught the boomerang upon its return, and the warp closed.
Everyone looked at Stacey.
Stacey smiled and shrugged. "It's a silver boomerang."
"Does that mean the Count's, . . . um, . . . dead?" Lana asked.
"The Count never truly dies. We'll see him again." Simon assured.
Just then, the rest of the party guests applauded and cheered wildly.
"They think it was all a show!" Lana realized.
Shortly after midnight, the party ended, and the guests started to leave.
One of Mike's buddies gave him five. "Superb party, man! It was a blast!"
Mike nodded with a smile. "Thanks." He patted his buddy on the back as he
went out the door. "Take it easy, man."
"Great special effects, Mike!" another buddy congratulated.
Mike nodded. "Thanks. Drive safe!"
The surfer came up to Simon. "Hey, man, great getup! You look just like
"I do?" Simon asked, not really knowing what the guy meant.
"Yeah." he said. "That's the best Simon Belmont impersonation I've ever
seen! Gnarly, dude!"
The others laughed as the surfer went out the door. Mike closed it.
Simon took his mirror out of his coat and looked at his reflection. "How
about that? I'm not only famous; I still look good, and there's not a hair
out of place!"
Kevin shook his head with a smile. He looked at Lana. "Well, Lana, I must
say, I've never seen you dance like that before!"
Lana smiled. "Maybe it has to do with tonight. Halloween must've brought
out my wild side!"
"I didn't know you had a wild side!" Stacey said.
Kristen put her right arm around Lana. "Well, I've always known it was in
there somewhere, and I love it! Kinda makes ya wonder, doesn't it, Lana?"
"Hmm? What's that?" Lana asked.
"What would've happened if that warp never opened, and we kept on dancing
like we were."
Lana chuckled. "I don't wanna know, Kristen."
"Well, I for one am just glad this whole night is behind us!" Rick said.
"Me, too!" Stacey agreed.
"Hey, guys, wanna do it again next year?" Mike asked with a grin.
The others laughed.
Copyright © 1998 by Mark Moore