Captain N:

Mega Trouble For Megaland

(a continuation of Videolympics)

Written by Jeffrey Scott

Novelized by David Hartline


In the last episode of Captain N:  The Game Master, Mother Brain’s obsession to conquer Videoland led her to a startling discovery.

“Metroid Mirror on my wall, tell me how to crush them once and for all!” the villainous brain commanded her mirror.

The screen faded to an image of Mount Icarus, and one white dot shone on the main peak of Mount Icarus.  “Hidden within Mount Icarus’s towering peak, the three Sacred Treasures contain the power you seek,” the mirror told her.  The screen shifted to a view of clouds which withdrew to reveal three treasure chests. . . a green one in the upper left of the screen, a red one in the lower right of the screen, and a blue one in the lower left of the screen.

Fueled by her mad craving for power, Mother Brain devised a clever plan to hold a Videolympics at Mount Icarus Coliseum, with Captain N and his N Team versus Mother Brain’s Villains.  Kevin and the others were led to believe that the games would finally bring peace to Videoland, while in truth, the Videolympics was a trick devised by Mother Brain to get the three Sacred Treasures so she could destroy the N Team once and for all.

Mother Brain put the blue Sacred Treasure on the ground in between the other two treasures.  Her minions left the immediate area so that what she was about to do would not harm them.  First she opened the blue treasure, and then she opened the green and red treasures simultaneously.  They showered her with energy.  “My power is unstoppable now!” she cried.  “Behold!  The Warp Zone to Oblivion!!”  As Mother Brain laughed quite despicably and maniacally, she fired an energy beam that blinded the N Team.  However, the beam also cracked open the ground before them and sent them falling through a chasm-like warp zone to the deepest depths of Videoland!


Back at Mother Brain’s lair on Metroid, she was most pleased with the current state of affairs.  “I’ve done it!” she said.  “Captain N and the princess will never be able to find their way out of that warp.  I am the supreme ruler of Videoland!!”  She laughed as though completely insane.  King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard grinned at each other, and then they laughed insanely as well.


Meanwhile, within the deadly Warp Zone to Oblivion. . .

The N Team fell into a region with countless branching objects of a rather orange color.  They landed screaming onto a large moving thing, resembling a Ripper from the game Metroid, that narrowly saved them from falling even further.  They got their wits together.  “Something tells me we’re about to have a nightmare on Mother Brain’s Street,” Kevin said, unaware at the time that that was the title to a different one of the N Team’s adventures.

“It’s the mega center of our universe,” Mega Man said, “where all warp zones intersect.”

“Which one of these warpicus zones did we come out of?” Kid Icarus asked, confused.

“I don’t know,” Lana said, quite worried, “but the wrong one could take us to any of a hundred deadly fates.”

“Stay cool, guys!” Kevin said.  “This is your captain speaking, and I’ve got an idea how to find the way home!”  He turned to Simon.  “Simon, have you got any rope in that backpack of yours?”

“No,” Simon said.  He pulled a fishing pole out of his backpack.  “But I’ve got some fishing line.”

Kevin smiled.  That would suit his purpose even better!  “Perfect!”


They had anchored their platform by hooking one pipe with a hook and tying a length of line to the platform.  They were at a cluster of warp zones.  They had formed six extensions of fishing line from the central roll of Simon’s fishing pole, and each member had tied one extension around his or her waist.  “We’ll have a better chance of finding the way back if we each take a different warp zone,” Kevin said.  “Whoever finds the right one, just give a tug on the line.”

“Affirmative!” Mega Man agreed.  He turned and jumped into a warp zone.

Kid Icarus flew over to two warp zones.  “Eeny, meeny, miny, moicus, this is the warp zone into which I goicus!” he chanted, first pointing at one and then the other repeatedly, and then dropping into one of them.

Duke leapt into one of them, but only the upper part of his body landed in it, and he yapped as he struggled to get the back part of his body in, which he did.

Kevin then faced Simon.  “You’re next, Simon,” he told the vampire hunter.

“Don’t be silly!” Simon replied.  “I want to make sure both of you get off safely.”  He escorted Lana over to one, and she stood poised to jump in.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Simon,” she said.  But then he pushed her in with both hands!  “Whoa!”

Kevin gave Simon the thumbs-up with his left hand.  “Good luck!” the Game Master said, and then he jumped into a warp.

“Who needs luck when you have brains?” Simon asked, pointing to his head as he addressed an imaginary audience.  He indicated his line.  “I’ll just hang out here until I feel a pull on my line, and I won’t have to risk my handsome neck.”  He grinned vainly.  Suddenly, a giant, disembodied set of teeth with jaws and a tongue popped up behind him!  Fortunately, he heard it approach.  “On the other hand, why worry about a neck when you’ve got an entire body to think of?”  The teeth attempted to pursue him as he headed to a warp zone, but the warp was to small for them.  “Whoa!” Simon cried as he fell through the warp.  The teeth clamped several times after missing him.

The vampire hunter emerged in a black cauldron.  He was facing a dark forest at nighttime.  “Well!  This doesn’t look so bad.”  He then turned around, and his expression became horrified.  He saw several blue-skinned trolls with spears and wearing only yellow helmets and yellow shorts. . . and they looked hungry!  They began jabbering in a strange language.  What was worse, there was a smoldering fire around the cauldron!  “But that does!”  The one in front grinned and jumped up.  Simon jumped back down into the warp and cried:  “Whoa!”  The trolls did not pursue.


Lana emerged in a giant baseball stadium that bore some resemblance to the Mount Icarus Coliseum.  “This must be the Coliseum!” she said as she looked around.  The bases were loaded, and the pitcher was ready to fire a ball at the batter.  She had unwittingly emerged on third base.

The pitcher threw the ball, and the batter hit it high in the air.  One of the pitcher’s teammates caught the ball.  “Run!” the umpire on third base commanded Lana, and she did.  She slid onto the home plate just before the ball hit the glove of the pitcher’s teammate there.

“Safe!” the dark-skinned umpire on home plate said.  He had a blue jacket and a blue baseball hat with the initials NB.  The crowd went wild with cheers.

“Is this the Mount Icarus Coliseum?” Lana asked.

“Naw,” he replied.  “This is Yankee Stadium!”  He scratched his head, and both he and the home plate catcher were perplexed.  Lana ran back to third base and descended back into the warp zone, much to the surprise of the third base umpire.


Kid Icarus emerged from his warp and looked around.  This was definitely Mount Icarus Coliseum.  He could tell, though the place was completely empty and a mess.  His warp was in the middle of the seating area.  “Mount Icarus!” he cried.  “I’m homeicus!”  He leapt completely out of the warp and tugged strongly on his line.  “I’ve found it!” he yelled into the warp.


Within minutes, every member of the N Team was standing in the same area of the Coliseum.  “Where is everybody?” Lana asked.  “We’ve only been gone a few minutes.”

“That’s true for us, Your Highness,” Mega Man said.  He looked into his left wrist.  A panel opened, and the third digit on the console in his arm blinked ‘7’.  “But my mega sensors indicate a week has passed on Mount Icarus!”

Kevin shrugged.  “One of those warp zones must have been a time warp,” he said.

“Then Mother Brain’s had free reign over Videoland for a week!”  They departed the Coliseum.

Outside, a group of Kraids was forcing a group of people to do hard labor with hammers.  “Work, faster!” one of them said in a high, nasal voice.  “Or you’ll find out there’s worse places to be than Mount Mother Brain!”

“Mount Mother Brain?” Lana asked, surprised.

“You’ve got to help us!” one person said, terrified.  He was near the N Team, but he was currently not working.  “King Hippo and the Eggplant Wizard have taken over our world, and Dr. Wily took the Three Sacred Treasures to Megaland and conquered that world as well!”

The image of Megaland entered Mega Man’s mind immediately.  “Megaland?” he exclaimed.  “That’s my home!  We’ve got to warp there mega fast!”

“But nothing can stop the power of the Three Sacred Treasures!” Lana replied.

“I can, Your Highnicus,” Kid Icarus said.

“Ha, ha!  You!?” Simon laughed.  “Impossible!”

“Well, with Fire Arrow, the Sacred Bow, and the Protective Crystal, I most certainly canicus!”

“But you’ll have to get past Medusa to get ’em,” Kevin said.

“It’s going to be dangerous maximus,” Kid Icarus said, “but I must try.”

“Kev and I will go with Mega Man and see if we can slow down Dr. Wily until you and Simon get the power items we need,” Lana said.

“But Medusa’s even uglier than Mother Brain!” Simon objected.  “One look at her face turns a man to stone!”

“Look on the bright side, Simon,” Kevin said.  “You’d make a very handsome statue.”

“Oh, yes!” Simon said, delighted.  “I would, wouldn’t I?”  He and Kid Icarus ran off to find Medusa’s lair, while Kevin, Lana, Mega Man, and Duke went to the nearest warp to Dr. Right’s lab.


As Simon and Kid Icarus head for Medusa’s palace, Captain N and the others warp off to Megaland.

The group arrived on a plate in Dr. Right’s lab that lowered them to the floor.  Dr. Right, one of the greatest scientific geniuses in Megaland, stood and faced them.  “Mega Man!” he greeted happily.  “I’m so glad you could come.”  The team approached him.  “And you must be Captain N!  I’ve heard a great deal about you!”

Kevin gasped, happy to meet the scientist.  “You’re the dude who built all those wicked robots,” he said.  “Cuts Man, Ice Man, Elec Man. . .”

“And don’t forget Fire Man, Guts Man, and Bomb Man,” Right said.  “They were all quite useful, you know, until Dr. Wily reprogrammed them for his destructive ends.  And now, he’s back again, and using the power of the Three Sacred Treasures to take over our world!”

“Don’t worry, Dr. Right,” Kevin said.  “The Mega Man game is my specialty.  I’ll zap Dr. Wily into warp factor ten!”

“You’ll have to make it past all six deadly robots to get to him,” Dr. Right told him.  “I’ve been working on a new robot that may be able to help you.  I call him. . . Garbage Man!”  He indicated the large, red robot that was standing near him.  It had yellow hands and a yellow jaw.  “He’s programmed to trash the other robots.  Watch!”  He withdrew a remote control from his pocket and pointed it at the large robot’s nose, and he fired a signal that awoke the robot.  The robot came closer, and it reached down, grabbed Dr. Right’s computer terminal, and began to eat it!  “No!  Stop!  That’s my computer you’re trashing!”  Worse, the robot continued to trash the lab!

Kevin doubted that the robot could help, and he gave Right an innocent smile.  “Uh. . . thanks, Doc, but no thanks.  We’ll handle the situation ourselves.”

But Right was no longer concerned about Wily.  “Stop, you miserable heap!” he cried as the noisy Garbage Man continued eating up his equipment.  “Not that!”  Right fell on his rear end.  The N Team ran off to the lab’s warp area.  “Oh, not my laser welding machine!  Aah!”  The robot then made a few barking noises, and its eyes glowed.

Meanwhile, the N Team ran to the warp area.  “The mega warp to the first robot is over here,” Mega Man said.  The arrived in a region with warp zones to all the robots’ areas.

“Ah, you might want to wait here, Princess,” Kevin said.  “These mega battles can get pretty hairy.”

Lana grabbed his Zapper with her left hand and twirled it.  “My father trained me to fight for freedom, Captain N,” she told him.  She fired off his Zapper with trained practice, and then she turned back to him with a determined look.  “I can take care of myself.”

Kevin was impressed.  “Uh, heh, ah, you are coming!”

“We’ll challenge Cuts Man, first,” Mega Man said.  The other three followed him into one of the warps, and then they materialized at the bottom of Cuts Man’s lair.

“Whoa!” Kevin said.

Mega Man led the way to a ladder hurriedly.  “Hurry!” he said urgently.  “The Bladers will be here any second!”  The others ran to the ladder.  Lana climbed up after Mega Man, and then Kevin followed.

Kevin looked back down to Duke, who was sitting at the base of the ladder.  “Move it, Duke!” he called.  Duke whimpered, not really liking climbing ladders with his bare paws, but he knew he had to follow, so he climbed up.  When the dog reached the top of the ladder, Kevin helped him over onto the platform.

Suddenly, a Blader appeared.  “It’s Blader!” Mega Man cried.  “Duck!”  The Blader zipped among the four, trying to hit them, but it failed.  When it veered away from them and then turned back for another pass, Kevin fried it with his Zapper.

“Ha, ha!” Kevin laughed.  “Smoked ’im!”

“This way,” Mega Man directed, poised at another ladder.  He began climbing up, and the others followed.  Unfortunately, there were Beaks on various points of the wall on both sides of the ladder, and they were shooting bits of energy to knock down any ladder climbers.  “Watch out for the Beaks,” he said.  The four climbed cautiously in the same order as before.  Mega Man took out one Beak with his blaster before he continued climbing.

However, one Beak got lucky and hit Kevin.  “Aah!” the Game Master cried as he fell to the platform they had just been on.  He fortunately fell clear of Duke.  He landed on his chest, and the right side of his head bumped against the ground.  “Oof!”  Everyone else climbed back down to help.  Duke of course got to him first and ‘kissed’ his left cheek with his tongue.

“Are you all right, Kevin?” Lana asked with concern.

Kevin laughed quietly as he got up.  “I’m the Game Master!” he boasted quietly.  “They can’t hurt me.”  But then he moaned.  Fortunately, he could tell that nothing had been broken, but he was still in pain.

“But every time we get hit,” Mega Man said, “we lose power.”  He looked at the same wrist panel he had looked at before.  It showed six energy units, but red light was gleaming only in five of them, the sixth being black.


Some time later, the group arrived at the very top of the tower.  By now, Duke was riding on Kevin’s back.  When they had reached the top they all rested and breathed heavily.  Kevin collapsed on belly.  “Oh,” Lana said.  “That was incredible.  I can hardly believe we made it all the way through!”

Kevin looked up at her.  “We haven’t,” he said.

“You mean there’s more?” she asked.

Meanwhile, Mega Man was checking his energy meter, and it did not look too good.  “We’ve only got a little energy left,” he notified them.  Only three units now were gleaming in the meter.

Kevin got up, and then everyone else did.  “We’re almost there,” Kevin said.  “All we have to do is get past Big Eye.”

“After what we’ve been through,” Lana said, “an eye doesn’t sound like such a big deal.”  Then she heard a clashing noise and felt the ground shake, as did everybody, and they were all alarmed.

“It’s not the eye I’m worried about,” Kevin said.  They turned, and they all saw Big Eye.  Actually, the eye was just the top portion.  The robot consisted of a large air-compressed jumping mechanism.  The deadliest part to it was the bottom, which due to the robot’s mass would crush just about anything when it came down from a jump.  And it was far larger than any of them.  It was jumping right towards them.  “It’s what’s attached to it!”  He and Mega Man fired their weapons at Big Eye in an attempt to destroy it.  “Nuke ’im!”  However, Big Eye was unaffected, and it looked down at them.  “Our zappers aren’t cutting it!” Kevin told Mega Man.

“We don’t have enough mega power!” Mega Man said.  The four attempted to run as Big Eye jumped towards them, but it landed just next to Mega Man, and he collided with it just as it landed.  The smaller android was knocked away in a blast of energy, and when he looked at their energy meter, he saw that two more units of energy were gone.  The other three gathered around him.  “We only got one energy unit left!” he cried.  “One more hit, and we’re finished!”  They looked up as the shadow of Big Eye’s square base fell on them, and they all cried out as the huge robot crushed them.


Suddenly, they all landed back at the starting point of Cuts Man’s lair, good as new.  “We’re alive!  What happened?” Lana asked, surprised.

“We got the boot from ol’ Big Eye,” Kevin said.

“You mean we have to go all the way through again?”

“That’s nothin’!  When I first played the game, I went through it fifty times before I got to Cuts Man.”

“I’m afraid this isn’t the same as your game, Captain N,” Mega Man said.

“What do you mean?” Lana asked.

“What I think he means is, if we get trashed two more times, we’re going to the big trash dump in the sky,” Kevin said.

“We must hurry!” Mega Man said.  As they headed towards the ladder again, a contingent of Bladers descended towards them.

“It’s déjà vu time, guys!” Kevin said.  “Here we go again!”  He and Mega Man took out the Bladers.


As Captain N and the others make another attempt to get to the deadly Cuts Man, Simon and Kid Icarus make their way toward a rendez-vous with Medusa.

Simon and Kid Icarus had arrived at one of the mountain’s western peaks, where the warp to Medusa’s lair lay in a small temple.  They hid behind a pillar and saw King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard in the temple’s hot tub.  Their hot tub was right in front of the warp zone to Medusa’s lair.  Both of the villains were quite contented.  “Ah,” King Hippo said.  “I could grow to enjoy rulin’ this world for Mother Brain, eh, Eggy?”

“You said it, King Hippo!” Eggy replied.  “There’s nothing like a hot tub and steam to make a guy feel like a new eggplant!”

“They’re blocking the entrance to Medusa’s warp zone,” Kid Icarus said quietly to Simon.

Simon thought and got an idea.  “Just leave everything to Simon Belmont, master of disguise,” the vampire hunter told the archer as he unslung his backpack and gave Kid Icarus the thumbs up with his left hand.

In a few minutes, the two walked into the temple in disguise.  Simon had on a blue toga and black wig that did not completely conceal his blonde hair, and he was wearing sunglasses.  He was holding his backpack by the handle in his right hand.  Kid Icarus had on a purple football helmet with a yellow stripe down the middle from the front to the back.  King Hippo looked up at them as they passed by.  “Hey!  You must be the steam bath repairman!”  Simon nodded, while Kid Icarus shook his head.  “This bath isn’t hot enough.  I’m barely sweatin’!”

“Ah, yes,” Simon said.  “Well, we’ll have it fixed for you in a jiffy, won’t we, Shrimpicus?”

Kid Icarus gave him the thumbs up.  “Whatever you say!  Dopius maximus,” he finished quietly.  The two went over to the controls for the hot tub.

Simon got a large, heavy wrench out of his backpack.  “Hold this,” he said, handing the wrench to Kid Icarus.  However, Kid Icarus was unprepared for the wrench’s weight, and he fell to the ground.

“Whoa!  Oof!” Kid Icarus cried as he fell.

Simon picked up the wrench.  “Laying down on the job, huh?”  He turned to Mother Brain’s fat slobs.  “Tell when it’s steamy enough for you!”  King Hippo waved his left hand at him.  Simon then used the wrench to twist the heat knob, turning up the heat on the two goons.

“Hoo!” King Hippo exclaimed as the water bubbled up some more.  “That’s hot enough!”

“What’s that?” Simon asked as if he had been unable to hear King Hippo clearly enough.  “Still too cold?”  He turned back to the knob and gave it a very hard turn, causing it to spin wildly and pop off.

Hippo and Eggy were now panting, and suddenly, the water in the fountain turned into a spout and sent them flying into the air!  Of course, the two fools were screaming.

“We can use the steam as cover,” Simon told Kid Icarus, having to shout over the loud bubbling sounds.  “Come on!”  The two N Teamsters jumped into the warp to Medusa’s lair.


Meanwhile, back in Megaland, Captain N and the others have made it back through the deadly Cuts Man maze.

As the other four N Teamsters arrived at the top of Cuts Man’s lair, a trio of shelled robots flew up after them.  Kevin blasted them all, and one of them released a red energy crystal that fell onto the ground.  Mega Man bent over, and when he touched it with his right index finger, it energized him.  “Mmm,” he said, rubbing the region in his body where the belly would be on a human.  “That energy cell tasted great!”

“Ah, sort of like an electric cheeseburger, huh?” Kevin asked, slightly amused.  Suddenly, they felt and heard Big Eye approaching.

“It’s Big Eye again!” Mega Man cried.

“Be careful, Kevin,” Lana said as she saw a determined gleam in Kevin’s eyes.  She knew he had an idea.  “If he flattens us, we’re through!”

“Don’t worry, Princess,” he said.  “I got to be Game Master by learning from my mistakes.”  He ran towards the huge robot as it jumped towards him, and, using his Power Pad, he jumped clear over it.  After he had fired some shots at it to provoke it, he ran towards the ledge.  He stopped just in time.  “Wow!” he said, seeing the great depths of the pit.  Big Eye would never survive that fall.  He turned back to the big jumper with a determined look.  “Come on, you big trash masher!  Try to squash me!  I dare you!”  However, being a robot, Big Eye needed no taunting.  It had calculated that the threat was Captain N, and therefore Captain N was its target.  As Kevin fired at it, it approached him as steadily as it could.  However, just as it jumped towards the ledge Kevin was standing on, Kevin used his Power Pad to zip clear out of the way, and when it landed, its weight caused the ledge to give way.

Kevin zipped into place behind the big robot and fired his Zapper at the huge robot’s back repeatedly, assisting in the robot’s tilt as it began its descent down the pit.  Kevin watched as the robot was destroyed.  Lana ran over to him and hugged him happily.  “You were magnificent, Kevin!” she said.

“You really think so?” he asked, twirling his Zapper and returning it to its holster.

“There’s no time to waste!” Mega Man said.  “We’ve got to mega move it!”

“Well,” Kevin said, putting his arms around Lana, “I wouldn’t call hugging a princess a waste of time.”


Seconds later, they were standing in front of a door leading to Cuts Man’s inner sanctum.  “When I open the door,” Mega Man said, “we’ve got to run!  Ready?”  Everyone else nodded, including Duke.  Mega Man then punched the door, and it began to move up slowly.  Mega Man knelt beside the door and looked in as it rose, and he waved his friends in when it was safe.  Kevin and Duke ran in first, then Lana, and finally Mega Man.  They began running down a long hallway that went through several doorways.

Suddenly, as they approached the first doorway, a weak clone of Ice Man popped from out of sight behind the doorway and used an ice pistol to shoot small but deadly ice spears at the heroes.  The first few spears stuck into the ground in front of Kevin; he leapt over these and shot the evil robot clone with a shot from his Zapper, and the robot disintegrated into video dust.

Duke looked to his left and barked suddenly as he saw a weak clone of Fire Man shoot a fireball from his right arm cannon at Kevin.  The dog charged forward and knocked down Kevin before the fireball—complete with evil-looking eyes—could burn him alive.  The instant Duke was off him, Kevin turned onto his back and shot the Fire Man clone with his Zapper.

On the right wall, a clone of Elec Man suddenly shot deadly electricity at Kevin.  Noticing this, the Game Master stood for a moment on his left hand and feet so the charge could hit the ground safely underneath him, and then he dropped and rolled to his right onto his belly, aimed for Elec Man, and fried him with a Zapper blast.

Getting up, Kevin noticed a clone of Bomb Man was behind Mega Man.  The explosive robot was preparing to toss a bomb at Mega Man.  “Hey!” Kevin exclaimed, and Mega Man turned around and fired some energy from his right hand blaster at Bomb Man.  It hit the bomb just as Bomb Man threw it, and the bomb detonated in midair.  Bomb Man shielded his face from the blast with his left arm, and when he looked with surprise at the bomb remains sitting on the floor, a blast from Kevin’s Zapper hit him full in the chest and vaporized him.

Kevin gave the thumbs up with his left hand before turning around and shooting the clone of Guts Man that was preparing to pounce on him.  When the robots were finished off, Duke, who had been lying defensively on the floor, got up, and Mega Man and Lana resumed running down the hallway.  They ran past Kevin, who followed them beside Duke.  They ran through the doorway into a room where one Screw on the ceiling and one on the floor shot yellow blasts at them.  The heroes turned, and the other three got behind Kevin.  They dodged all the blasts, and Kevin whirled and vaporized the two Screws.  Suddenly, a door split open to the right of the heroes as they came through this room, and Cuts Man came through this door.  The wickedly programmed robot had a lethal blade that looked like a set of deadly scissors on top of his head.  He gave the N Team a wicked grin.

“Cuts Man’s the name,” he said.  “Cutting’s my game, and I don’t mean hair!”  He bent forward slightly, and the blade came flying off his head to assault the N Team.  Mega Man ducked, Duke lay down, and Kevin and Lana each leaned out of the way as the blade flew to the center of their group.  Laughing evilly, Cuts Man held out his arms and made “peace-signs” with them.  However, he did not mean peace but cutting, for he brought the index finger and middle finger together on both hands at the same time while his blade was airborne.  The blade came back like a boomerang and returned to its place on top of his head.

“Ha, ha!” Kevin said.  He and Mega Man readied their weapons and fired at Cuts Man’s chest, but their shots were all deflected harmlessly.  “Huh?”

Still grinning demonically, Cuts Man sent his blade flying again, and it struck Mega Man squarely in the chest.  “Whoa!” Mega Man cried, falling on his back.  Cuts Man laughed as the blade returned to his head.

“He’s too powerful,” Lana said.  “We can’t stop him!”

However, Kevin was more optimistic about the situation.  “We can with a little help from man’s best friend,” he said, turning to his dog.  He knelt and placed his left hand on Duke’s head.  “Duke, ol’ boy, remember how you loved to bark and run circles around the gardener?”  Around the word ‘bark’, he removed his hand from Duke’s head.  After his master had finished the question, the dog barked and nodded happily.  “Guess what!  He’s the new gardener!”  Cuts Man was hopping and snapping his blade as he made scissoring motions with his fingers as before.  Standing and pointing at Cuts Man, Kevin finished:  “Go get ’im!”  Duke charged up to Cuts Man just as the robot released his lethal blade.

“Go away, you four-legged. . . whatever you are!” the robot snapped at the dog yapping and running in circles around him.

The N Team evaded the blade as it flew around them.  “Duke,” Kevin commanded as the blade was returning to Cuts Man, “lay down!”  Duke obeyed.  Unprepared for the blade’s return, Cuts Man turned to run, but the blade stuck him in the rear end, and he was vaporized into video dust.  Duke popped back up and ran to Kevin, who was waiting for him.  Kevin put his right hand on the dog’s neck and patted the dog’s head with his left hand.  “Good boy, Duke!”

“Well, that wasn’t so bad,” Lana said, coming over to Kevin.

“You’re right, Princess,” Kevin said as he stood back up.  “Compared to the next five robots, Cuts Man was just a wimp!”  Lana’s surprised look indicated that she did not like this at all.


Meanwhile, back on Mount Icarus, Simon Belmont and Kid Icarus approach Medusa’s lair in search of the needed power items.

As they neared Medusa’s lair, Simon and Kid Icarus looked at the statues in one chamber they passed through.  “What perfectly dreadful statues,” Simon commented.  “Medusa has lousy taste in art.”

“That’s not articus,” Kid Icarus replied.  “They’re warriors who looked at Medusa!”  Simon’s eyes widened in surprise.  They continued forth.  Kid Icarus pointed ahead.  “Simonius!”  He was indicating an altar with a bow, an arrow, and a mirror shield.  “These are the three power items we’re looking for!”  Suddenly, they heard loud screeching laughter from the left side of the hallway crossing theirs at the altar, and the shadow of a figure with snaking tendrils atop its head appeared against the altar and the wall it was connected to.  Kid Icarus slapped his hands over Simon’s eyes and shut his own.  “Close your eyesicus!”

“What do you mean, don’t look?” Simon demanded, pushing Kid Icarus off of him and running his left hand through his hair to fix it.  “How are we supposed to get the power items if we can’t look where we’re going?”

“We’ll have to wear blinders,” Kid Icarus said.  “Take off your backpack.”  Somewhat reluctant, Simon unslung his backpack and set it on the ground.  Kid Icarus opened it and rummaged through it, tossing away a flashlight, a windup alarm clock, a camera, a paint roller, a welding mask, and a small typewriter and a toothbrush.  The first useful thing he found was an empty blue can marked ‘VERMILION’.  After that, he found a yellow can marked ‘QWIK-DRY BLACK PAINT’, which had a paintbrush sticking out of it.  He flew up to Simon’s face, pulled the goggles down over the vampire hunter’s eyes, and painted some black paint over the goggles.

“Hey!” Simon cried.  “I can’t see!”

“Good!” Kid Icarus said, giving him the thumbs up with his right hand, though Simon could not see it.  The small archer landed back on the ground next to the empty can and flung away the paint can.  “I’ll get the power items; you distracticus Medusa.”  He put the empty can over his head.  “Whatever you do, don’t look at her!”

“What am I?  An idiot?”  The two N Teamsters stumbled down the hallway with arms extended forwards.  Along the way, Kid Icarus collided with the knee of one stone warrior and was knocked over on the bottom of his can, his feet flailing in the air.  Simon, however, met with no obstructions until his right hand met with a smooth bracelet.  “Excuse me,” he said, stopping.

“Hello there,. . . handsome,” a sweet feminine voice said to him seductively.  What he could not see was that this voice belonged to a hideous, turquoise-skinned woman with snakes on her head, slitted eyes, and pyramid-shaped earrings.  She wore a pink dress that did nothing for her figure.  The snakes in her hair had pink bows around their necks near their heads.  “Why don’t you take those goggles off and. . . feast your eyes on me?  Hm?”

“Ah. . .  You don’t sound very. . . ugly,” Simon said, falling for her act like a ton of bricks.  Meanwhile, Kid Icarus, having gotten back up, proceeded immediately to the altar.  He collided with it, knocking down the three power items sitting on it and falling down himself.

“I’m not ugly,” she replied.  “You’re little friend’s just jealous that I’ll fall for you instead of him.”

Simon did not even think about the fact that Kid Icarus would never do such a thing.  “Why, that little sneak,” he said, “wanting you all to himself.”  Keeping his eyes closed, he lifted his goggles above his eyes.  He extended his arms as if ready to embrace her.  “How about giving your handsome Simon a great big. . .”  He opened his eyes, and then he saw the vision of ugliness before him.  He screamed as her evil magic began working on him, and he turned to stone.

Kid Icarus had already gathered the power items, and he ran into something that had not been there before.  After landing on his rear, he lifted the can above his eyes just long enough to see that he had run into Simon’s stone foot, elevated above the floor as he tried to run.  Swiftly, he pulled the can back down and ran before Medusa could catch him.  However, he ran into Simon’s backpack and tripped upside down into the pack.  The blue can was knocked away, but fortunately he still had the power items in his hands.  Shrieking with devilish laughter, Medusa came after him and grabbed him by his small legs.  “Come out and take a look at beautiful Medusa!  Ha, ha, ha!”  Her eyes lit up with bright light, which was what caused people looking at her to become stone.

“Nng!  No!” Kid Icarus cried, holding the protective crystal mirror over his face as Medusa pulled him out of the backpack.  “Stopicus!”  He bent upwards so that the crystal would show the villainess her reflection.

Seeing her own hideous reflection, she shrieked:  “No!  I’m turning to stone!”  She did all of Videoland that great favor.

Suddenly, Simon returned to his human state.  “Whoa!  I must be out of shape,” he said.  He put his left hand on his right shoulder and stretched his right arm.  “I feel kind of stiff.”

“Never mindicus,” Kid Icarus said, carrying Simon’s backpack, which now held the power items.  “We’ve got to get these power items back to Megaland.”

Suddenly, the stone heroes all turned back to normal.  “What?” they all asked.  “What happened?” one asked.

“You’ve enlisted in an army against Mother Brain,” Simon said, coming up to them.  “As your commanding officer, I order you to free this world!”  Cheering, the warriors raced out of the lair.  Suddenly, a yellow warp opened above Simon and Kid Icarus, and they both leapt into it.


As Simon and company warp off to Megaland, Captain N and the others arrive at Dr. Wily’s secret command center.

The door to a room in Wily’s lair was vaporized, leaving a hole perfect for the entry of Duke, Captain N, Princess Lana, and Mega Man.  Entering the room, they looked around, and to their left was a computerized chair facing away with them.  “I’ve been expecting you, Captain—wheeze!—N,” the chair’s occupant, Dr. Wily, said as he turned the chair so he could face them.  Captain N twirled and holstered his Zapper.  “Congratulations on nearly destroying—wheeze!—my deadly androids.”

“But we did destroy them,” Lana corrected.

The evil scientist shook his head.  “I’m afraid not, Your Highness,” he told her.  With his left hand, he pointed to what appeared to be a semicircle in the back wall, with a supersteel barrier in the shape of one quadrant of a sphere.  The sphere barrier opened, revealing a super generator that held the Three Sacred Treasures.  “You see, the Three Sacred Treasures have given me—wheeze!—unlimited power.”  The N Team gasped at this startling revelation.  “I have more than enough to revive my little family!”  He turned and keyed in commands on his keyboard.  There was another quarter-sphere barrier in the back wall of the room, and it opened to reveal all six of Dr. Wily’s lethal robots, all ready for action!  “Destroy Captain N!”  The six androids charged for the heroes.

“We’d better make a mega retreat!” Mega Man cried.  As Ice Man fired from his ice pistol, the four N Teamsters turned to exit, but suddenly deadly icicles appeared and completely barred their way to the door.

“So much for that idea,” Lana said.

“Oh, man,” Kevin said to himself.  “What I wouldn’t give to be able to press my reset button!”  Elec Man hit Mega Man dead on with a powerful electric beam.  Fire Man shot a fireball at Kevin and Lana, but they leant aside, and the fireball hit the icicle barrier, causing it to melt and hit the N Team with a spray of water.

The lethal androids advanced slowly on the N Team, but suddenly Simon and Kid Icarus warped in.  Kid Icarus was holding the bow and arrow, and Simon had the protective crystal mirror shield.  “Never fear,” Simon said heroically.  “Simon Belmont is here!”

Dr. Wily was displeased by the entrance of the two heroes, and he was even more annoyed by Simon’s heroic entrance speech.  He wheezed before delivering his next order.  “Pulverize that stupid vampire hunter!” he snapped furiously.  Fire Man prepared a flame in his left arm cannon, and then he shot this fireball at Simon, who held up the mirror shield to the flame.  The shield magically eliminated the fireball.

“Whew,” Simon said.  “Am I glad that worked!”

“Kid Icarus, quick!” Lana commanded.  “Shoot the Fire Arrow at the Three Sacred Treasures!”

Kid Icarus raised his new bow, strung the Fire Arrow into it, and aimed at the Sacred Treasures.  However, the arrow instead hit the machine holding the treasures and reflected off!  It bounced off Wily’s chair, the ceiling above his control panel, the hood above the control panel, the top of the wall near the N Team, part of the ceiling just centimeters away from this wall, and throughout the whole room.  It even flew down just in front of a very surprised Simon Belmont, who cried:  “Hey!”

“Oh, darnicus!” the skilled archer cried.  “The only Fire Arrow, and I missed!”

Lana was watching the arrow bounce around.  “Not yet,” she said.  She lifted her tiara, and the arrow bounced off of the emerald in the crown and hit the middle Sacred Treasure dead on.  The entire device holding the treasures exploded, and the six robots cried out as they disintegrated into balls of energy.

Dr. Wily was shocked, and then the entire N Team faced him.  Kevin was in the middle.  Standing to his right were Duke and Simon, standing to his left were Mega Man and Lana, and hovering directly above Mega Man was Kid Icarus.  Kevin put his hands on his waist on either side of his belt, and it was clear that neither he nor any of the rest of the N Team was happy about what had just gone down.

Neither was Wily.  “You’re finished now, Captain N!” he shouted after a wheeze.  Instantly, his chair turned inside out and became into a personal red mini jet car aimed directly at Kevin!  Not only that, the engines were firing up!

“He’s going to ram us!” Lana cried.

“Not if I have one word to say about it,” Kevin said, standing in place as his friends scattered, “and I do.”  With his right index finger, he pressed the black rectangular button closer to the right on his Power Pad, and as he did, it glowed red, and the fourth energy bar from the left on top of the pad glowed a bright light green.  “Pause!”  Suddenly, just as Dr. Wily’s jet took off, it froze in time, as did Kevin’s five scattering friends.  Kevin ran to the left side of Wily’s cockpit, opened the cockpit lid, and fiddled with Wily’s controls.  “A little mid-course correction should do the trick.”  After he was finished, he stepped away from the car.  When the pause had ended, the car spun out of control and then flew in a spiral out the door that Kevin had melted open, and it took a big chunk out of it and the many walls beyond.


Meanwhile, back on Mount Icarus, the heroes that Simon had sent to free the land had nabbed King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard, and they were now holding them.  “One, two, three!” they cried, and on three, they flung the two lowlifes screaming into the warp to Metroid.


On the planet Metroid, Mother Brain was sitting pretty with a huge, opulent crown across the top of her jar, and she was vainly regarding her hideous countenance with a hand mirror held in her right tentacle.  “Pretty soon,” she said, “I’ll be princess of all Videoland.  Then, everyone will be kneeling before this beautiful brain!”  Suddenly, she heard screams from above.  First Wily’s jet car and then Eggplant and Hippo came tumbling through the warp above.  Wily’s jet car crashed on the floor before her, dumping him out, and then King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard crashed next to him.  “What?”

Suddenly, Kevin and Princess Lana appeared in normal clothing on her viewscreen, and they were in the Palace of Power’s throne room.  “Say hello to your loyal subjects, ‘Princess’ Mother Brain,” Lana said.

“Game over,” Kevin said.  “You lose!”  Then the screen flipped off, and Mother Brain simply flipped.

Furious, she whirled to her three ‘subjects’.  She had to vent her rage to somebody in about two seconds, and they were the only ones available.  “Idiots!” she cried, charging up the electrodes on top of her jar.  “You’ve ruined everything!!”  She shocked the three fools repeatedly as they attempted to run out of the room.