Captain N:

Three Men And A Dragon

Written by Jeffrey Scott

Novelized by David Hartline


On the fantastic world of Dragon’s Den, where dragons and man lived in harmony for a thousand years, the peace has been shattered by the most evil dragon ever to breathe flame:  Dragon Lord.

In a forest of Dragon’s Den, a baby white dragon named Puff screamed and fled in terror from the enormous Dragon Lord, a red dragon.  She dodged his fiery breath, but suddenly she tripped over a tree root, and the dark shadow of the evil dragon loomed over her.  Shoving two trees aside on either side of him, he bent down and blew more incinerating fire towards her.  “Mama, help!” she cried in terror.  “Mama!”  And her cries were not in vain.  Her mother swooped down and grasped Puff gently in her jaws, and attempted to wing to safety.

However, two of Dragon Lord’s minions came up behind him:  a slender green dragon and a fat lavender one.  The lavender dragon hopped instead of running.  “Don’t let them get away!” the evil Dragon Lord commanded.  The two dragons pursued Puff and her mother.

Puff’s mother flew through the forest.  However, Dragon Lord’s minions slashed at trees with their tails, causing them to fly up in the air towards the mother dragon.  Puff screamed, when she saw the logs headed for her and her mother, but it was not in time; the logs landed on the mother’s back and caused her to drop to the ground, but Puff was released from her mouth.  Puff fell onto a tree limb and bounced off only to crash on the ground.  The mother dragon was not badly hurt or knocked unconscious, however, and she got up and blocked her child from Dragon Lord’s reach.  “You’ll have to kill me before I let you touch my child, Dragon Lord!” she said menacingly, and she shrieked at him.

“Not if I can darken your heart first,” Dragon Lord said, activating the black amulet that was on a chain around his neck.  The amulet glowed and sent waves of evil energy to the mother dragon, causing her skin to turn gray and her face to become menacing and evil.  She was now under Dragon Lord’s control.  She turned down, and her eyes glowed when she saw Puff.  She blew fire at her own child, who fled in terror.

“Mama, no!” Puff cried, running.  She fled deeper into the forest.

Dragon Lord did not like this.  Puff could not be allowed to get away!  He turned to his two minions.  “Get her!”  The two large dragons pursued Puff.  Since she was very small, though, she fit between two narrow trees, while her pursuers were too large to fit between these trees and got stuck.  So, Puff got away.

Suddenly, a hologram of the evil Mother Brain appeared next to Dragon Lord.  “I hope my hypnotic crystal has been helpful, Dragon Lord,” she said.

“Very helpful, Mother Brain,” he replied, holding the crystal so that it glinted in the sunlight.  “I have darkened the hearts of all the dragons. . . except. . . one baby white!”

“A baby?” Mother Brain laughed.  “Ha!  Dragon’s Den is as good as ours!”

“Not yet, Mother Brain,” her dragon ally replied.  He indicated the hypnotized mother dragon.  “Baby white dragons grow into powerful adults.  I will not rest until there are no good dragons left in the kingdom!”


Later, at the Palace of Power. . .

Simon and Kevin were currently playing tennis in the Palace’s tennis court.  Lana, Kid Icarus, and Duke were watching from the seats.  “Give me your best shot, Simon,” Kevin challenged.

“Don’t bother trying to return my serve, Captain N,” Simon said coolly.  He took his whip with his left hand and had it grab his tennis racquet.  “I learned it while thwarting vampires on Castlevania.  I call it. . . my vampire ball!”  While he spoke, he took out a ball with vile eyes and sharp teeth and showed it to Kevin.  He tossed the ball up into the air and hit it over to Kevin with the racquet.  Kevin used his Power Pad to zip to his right and hit the ball back to Simon.  Just in time, Simon whipped his racquet back around and hit the ball back to Kevin.  Kevin zipped to his left and successfully hit the ball again.  The two players successfully countered each other for several turns.  Duke got dizzy watching the ball go back and forth.

However, Simon began to tire before Kevin did, partly because it was harder work using his whip to swing his racquet than it would have been to simply swing the racquet with his hand alone.  On his last stroke, Simon did hit the ball, but he didn’t pull his whip back in time to keep it from wrapping all the way around his body with the racquet!  He fell face-down onto the court, and when Kevin hit the ball back to him, it grinned in midair and fell down and bit Simon’s rear!  “Yow!” the vampire hunter cried.

“Your vampire ball has one mean bite,” Kevin commented, coming over to his adversary.  Lana laughed.

Suddenly, Mega Man leapt over the fence and into the tennis court.  “Your Highness, come quickly!” he said, running over to where Lana, Kid Icarus, and Duke were sitting.  Kevin had walked over there and was leaning against the wall.  “There’s an urgent message from Dragon’s Den!”  Lana, Kid Icarus (who dropped a drink can), and Duke got up, and they ran with Kevin and Mega Man back inside the Palace.  Simon ran along as well, still tied up by his whip and still with the vampire ball on his rear.


In the conference room, three wizened men were on the screen.  They had pointy, bald heads and pointed ears.  Two had a long white mustache and a long white beard, while the one to their right had only a long mustache.  “Princess Lana, we are the Keepers of Power for the world of Dragon’s Den,” said the one in the middle, who happened to be the shortest.  The scene changed to Dragon Lord blackening the heart of a dragon with Mother Brain’s amulet.  “All but one of our dragons have been turned evil by Dragon Lord’s magic.”  The Keepers returned to the screen.  “If he succeeds in turning all the dragons to evil, our world will fall into darkness for a thousand years.  Please!  Rescue Puff, our last good dragon, before all is lost!”

“But how will we know where to find this dragon?” Kevin asked.

“You must be clever, Captain N.  Most of all, you must be a dragon warrior.”

Suddenly, a voice to the Keepers’ left surprised them.  “You’re too late to be a dragon warrior, Captain N,” Mother Brain said, forcing her image onto the N Team’s screen.  “The last dragon has been caught!  This world is ours now!”  She laughed wickedly as she disappeared from the screen.

“A thousand years of darkness?” Kid Icarus cried.  “What a horriblus maximus fate!”

“I don’t believe that two-faced brain for a minute,” Lana said.  “What if she’s trying to trick us, and the last dragon hasn’t been turned evil yet?”

“The princess is right,” Kevin said.  “The N Team may still have a chance to save Dragon’s Den.”  He took his Zapper and twirled it.  “Sounds like we’re going dragon hunting!”

“Oh, boy!” Simon exclaimed enthusiastically.  “Next to vampires, dragon hunting is my favorite sport!”


When the N Team got to the Palace’s warp to Dragon’s Den, Simon took a red hunter’s jacket and a black hunter’s cap out of his backpack and put them on.  Then, he blew four high notes on his hunter’s trumpet.  A fox leapt out of the warp behind him and ran off between his legs.  Then, a bunch of dogs hopped out of the warp and knocked Simon over as they pursued the fox!  The hat was flung away from him.  Duke barked in excitement.

“Hey!” Simon cried as he tried to get up, but he was knocked down again when Duke leapt on him and ran to pursue the other dogs and the fox.

“We’re looking for a dragon, Simon,” Kevin said, “not a fox!”

“I know that,” the vampire hunter replied.  He presented his trumpet, which was now bent.  “I must have grabbed the wrong horn.”  Flinging his red coat and trumpet away, Simon got up and took what looked somewhat like a small French horn out of his pack.  He blew a high, fast tune on this instrument, and he was run down by sheep and then Arabians on camels that came out of the warp.

Lana had had all she could stand of this idiocy.  When he got up again, she grabbed him by his blue coat’s collar, cried:  “Hey!” and dragged him off to the warp to Dragon’s Den.


Moments later, on the magical world of Dragon’s Den, Captain N and the N Team arrive in the town of Brecconary.

The N Team emerged from a warp that was in the town’s old well.  Kevin turned to Lana and Mega Man, who were to his right.  “Princess, you and Mega Man go to the west and search for Puff,” he said.  He turned to Simon, Kid Icarus, and Duke, who were to his left.  “We’ll go to the south and try to cut off Dragon Lord.  If all goes well, we’ll meet here at sundown.”  They exited the well and went their separate ways.  Not very far from the well, Kevin noticed they were coming to the Brecconary Weapons Shop.  “Hold it, guys!  It’s a weapons store!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Simon said derisively as he pointed to his backpack.  “I have all the weapons we need right here.”  He followed as Kevin and Kid Icarus approached the weapons store.

“Trust me, Simon,” Kevin replied.  “I played this game a lot back home.  We’ll need weapons and armor to defeat Dragon Lord.”

“Oh, well,” Simon said as the others went into the shop.  “Maybe I can do some fall shopping.”  After entering, he entered the shop.

As Kevin was examining the shop’s wares, he heard someone behind him clear his throat so as to get his attention.  “Strange weapons you’ve got there.”  He turned and saw the shopkeeper, an older gentleman with a brown tunic and a white apron.  Most of the man’s hair was gone, and what remained over his ears was white.  His bushy eyebrows were white as well.  In addition, his belly was quite round.  He was pointing towards Kevin’s Zapper and Power Pad.  “I’ll trade you a golden battleaxe for them.”

“No thanks,” Kevin replied, “but I could use some of that stuff that restores your power during battle.”

“Oh!  You mean magic herbs!” the shopkeeper said jovially.  “Heh, they’re very expensive!  How much you got?”  As the shopkeeper said this, Simon was behind the countertop that Kevin and the shopkeeper were in front of, and he was inspecting something on the floor.  He picked this object up, and then one in front of the countertop could see that this was the golden battleaxe.  However, Simon lifted the heavy weapon too high, and he fell backwards due to its weight.

But Kevin was paying no attention.  He realized that American money would do little good in medieval times, when paper money hadn’t even been invented, and since American coins contained little precious metals.  Nonetheless, he reached into his wallet and pocket and withdrew all the money he had.  “Uh. . . three eighty-five, American?”

The shopkeeper’s response confirmed Kevin’s suspicion.  “Ha!  That wouldn’t by you a frog wart!”  He turned away, but Kevin held up his digital watch (which had his name scratched into the plate on back), and a beep from it caused him to turn back around.

“How about trading for a digital watch?” Kevin offered cunningly.  “It has two alarms, a stopwatch, and dials the telephone.”

The shopkeeper was definitely interested.  After looking at it for a minute, he took the watch.  “It’s a deal!”  He then handed Kevin a package of healing herbs.  As Kevin walked away, a question sprang into his mind.  “Hey!  What’s a telephone?”


The N Team was now walking out of town.  Kid Icarus had purchased a golden helmet from the shop.  “According to the shopkeeper,” the archer said, “this magicus helmicus will protect me from dragon fire!”  He laughed, but since he wasn’t looking where he was going, he crashed headlong into a wooden pole and fell to the ground.

“Heh!  Yeah, but what’s going to protect you from the helmet?” Kevin asked, amused.  He turned to Simon.  “What kind of weapon did you get, Simon?”

“Weapon, shmeapon!” Simon said.  “I bought something far more practical.”  He reached into his backpack and got out a pair of. . .  “Water skis!”

Kevin was surprised and a bit dismayed.  He crouched down to Duke and sighed.  “Sometimes, Duke,” he told the dog confidentially, “sometimes I think that the ‘N’ in N Team must stand for ‘No-brains’.”  The dog made a nodding gesture.


As the N Team left the town, they didn’t realize that they were being watched by the evil Mother Brain on Metroid.  “Fools!” she cried.  “Their useless weapons won’t protect them from me!”  She turned to her two minions, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo, and she gave them a mean look.  “King Hippo!  Eggplant Wizard!  I want you to warp to Dragon’s Den and turn the N Team into dragon’s food!”

“Whatever you say, brain-breath,” King Hippo said when Mother Brain looked away.

“Ah!” she said offended as she turned angrily back to them.

King Hippo grinned.  “Uh, I didn’t say nothin’,” he lied.  He indicated Eggplant Wizard, who then became greatly afraid.  “He said it!”

Angry, Mother Brain shocked Eggplant Wizard.  He screamed and stood quite straight while she was zapping him, and when she was through, the pupil of his eye went around in circles.  “Now, get moving before I poach you, egg-head!” she snapped.  Eggy hopped into the warp to Dragon’s Den, and then so did King Hippo.  “Ah!” she said with relief when they had gone.  She opened her mouth wide and sprayed breath spray onto her jar as though spritzing it into her mouth.


Back on Dragon’s Den, King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard came up out of a warp in the muddy part of a swamp, and the first thing they saw were two dragons towering over them.  The two imbeciles panicked immediately.  They screamed, and Eggy clung to Hippo.  “We’re dead vegetables!” Eggy said, and he pulled his cape over his and Hippo’s heads.

“We’re not going to eat you, you idiots,” the bluish dragon said.  “We’re your dragons!  Get on.”

King Hippo flung Eggy down onto the muddy ground.  The yellowish dragon turned so his left side was to King Hippo.  “Give me a boost,” Hippo said to Eggy.  Eggy sat up and held his hands together in front of him, but when Hippo approached, Eggy bowed his head too low, and Hippo stepped on this instead!  The boxer’s weight caused Eggy to fall headfirst onto the ground, and thus Hippo lost his balance and fell on top of Eggy.  When Hippo sat up, the vegetable magician lifted his head up and spat out murky water from his mouth.

“Oh, brother,” the blue dragon said in disbelief.  Neither he nor his yellow companion could believe that Mother Brain had such stupid servants.


Meanwhile, Kevin and his friends were exploring some barren countryside.  “We’re almost at the Sea of Scales,” Kevin said.  “The shopkeeper said turn east at the shore.”  Suddenly, a watermelon whistled as it fell out of the sky, and it burst open when it hit the ground at Simon’s feet.  A red bit of its insides struck Simon’s coat and stuck there.

“Oh!” Simon cried melodramatically.  “I’ve been hit!”

Kid Icarus swiped off some with his finger and tasted it.  “That’s watermelon,” he said in a patronizing tone.

Hearing the flapping of dragon wings in the sky, Kevin looked up to see their attackers.  “And that’s trouble!” he said.  “Let’s move it!”  The N Team scattered as two dragons, carrying Eggy and Hippo, swooped down to attack.

Riding on the blue dragon, Eggplant Wizard aimed his veggie-wand downwards.  “Veggie-bombs away!” he said.  As he laughed, he shot at the fleeing Kevin and Duke with a bunch of vegetables.

Meanwhile, King Hippo, wearing pilot’s goggles and a blue pilot’s scarf, rode the yellow dragon.  “Fire!” he instructed.  “Fire!”  The dragon opened its mouth and blew hot fire.

Kid Icarus shot off an arrow, but suddenly he gasped as he saw the approaching flames.  He put his head (and thus the helmet) forward, and the fire hit this harmlessly, so Kid Icarus was not damaged.  “Whew!” he sighed breathlessly.

Now, Kevin stood his ground and fired at Eggplant Wizard.  “Eat Zapper, Eggplant Wizard,” he said.  However, the dragon increased altitude, and the Zapper’s laser avoided both him and Eggy.  However, the dragon spat a magic spell at Kevin, and the Game Master did not think to dodge in time.  He was frozen in an icy prison.  “I’m f-f-frozen solid,” he said with considerable effort, and as he spoke his breath froze in front of him, “and I can’t reach my magic herbs.”  The herbs were hanging from his Power Pad belt just to the left of the Power Pad.  “D-d-duke!  Fetch the herbs!” he ordered (inappropriately pronouncing the H-sound in ‘herbs’, but under the circumstances he could be excused for this).  Duke barked, and then he stood up on his hind legs, grabbed the pouch of herbs, and squeezed the pouch so that the herbs floated onto Kevin and melted the ice.  “Aw!” he said with relief.  “Thanks, Duke.  You saved my hide.”  He patted his obedient pooch on the head.

King Hippo’s dragon fired downwards and incinerated a bush.  Fortunately, Simon, who had been hiding behind the bush, was not burned to a crisp along with the bush, but he was nonetheless frantic.  “Yaah!  Oh, why didn’t I buy some armor?” he asked nervously as he stood up.  He went through his backpack and removed a bunch of useless junk.  “There must be something in here!”  However, he found nothing of use as the dragon dove towards him.  “Oh, well,” he said bravely.  “When the going gets rough, Simon Belmont gets his trusty whip!”  He took his whip and held his hand backwards, in preparation to swing.  However, when he stepped backwards to get a better aim, his feet slid perfectly into the shoe harnesses to his new water skis!  “Huh?” he asked himself, getting slightly off-balance.  As he worked to regain his balance, his whip swung upwards when King Hippo’s dragon flew overhead, and it wrapped around the dragon’s tail!  He gained his balance, but the next second, he was pulled off the ground by the flying dragon.  “Whaaa!  Yaah!”  King Hippo and the dragon looked back and saw Simon.  Simon screamed as he righted himself and slid along the ground with his skis.  The dragon’s swinging tail caused the vampire hunter to zigzag across the ground.  However, Simon began to like it.  “Hey, this ain’t half bad!”  He called up to the dragon:  “Go faster!”  The dragon smiled in surprise and then took on a derisive grin as some fire emerged from his nostrils.  He yanked his tail upwards, causing Simon to jump up into the air. . . and right for Kevin!  “Yaah!”

“Simon, look out!” Kevin said.  He and Duke scattered before Simon could crash into them.  Landing squarely on his skis, Simon continued sliding on the ground.

“Whoa!  Yaaaah!”  The dragon was going too fast for his taste.  Suddenly, he saw that the dragon was heading for a tree!  When the dragon reached the tree, he went so that the whip would intersect the tree trunk, and Simon’s momentum caused him to be wrapped around the tree by his whip before he smacked into the tree himself.

However, this had another effect.  The whip forced the dragon to stop and be flung backwards.  “Uh, oh,” King Hippo said as the dragon stopped in midair.  “Whaa!” he cried as the dragon went backwards.

Simon dislodged himself from the tree.  “That wasn’t. . . so bad,” he said dizzily to the tree.  However, his eyes popped nearly out of their sockets and his jaw widened in surprise when he saw the huge dragon headed tail-first towards him!  “Yaah!”  He fell to the ground only in the nick of time, and the dragon passed right over him.

However, Eggplant Wizard would not be so fortunate.  King Hippo and the yellow dragon were on a direct collision course with him and the blue dragon!  “Yaah!” the vegetable cried.  Kevin and Duke joined Simon under the tree and watched as the two dragons’ scaly chests collided in midair.  Simon regained his whip during the collision.

“Quick!” Kevin instructed.  “Let’s split while we’ve got the chance!”  He, Duke, and Simon ran away from the tree.

King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard had landed facing down on high branches of the tree after the collision.  “Whew!” Hippo said.  “At least the worst is behind us.”  His statement was unbelievably close to the truth, though not in the way he hoped.  The two dragons were clinging uselessly to some frail branches higher in the tree.  Of course, the branches broke, and the dragons fell rear-first onto Mother Brain’s servants and squashed them into the ground.  Eggy’s eye pupil again went around and around in circles.


The N Team’s path was now climbing a mountain.  To their right was a tall cliff, and to their left was a drop down into the noisy, swift river flowing through a bed of jagged rocks.  They were near a dark cave.  “Come on, guys,” Kevin said.  “Let’s hide in that cave until we can figure out our next move.”  The four walked into the cave.  Just a yard or two inside, it turned pitch-black, but Simon was ready with a handheld lantern.

“We should be safeicus in here,” Kid Icarus commented.  Suddenly, they heard a high-pitched squeal from further in the cave.

“Sh,” Simon said.  He pointed down the cave as Kid Icarus got behind him.  “What was that?”

“It came from behind that rock,” Kevin said.  As the Game Master went to investigate, Simon’s eyes were looking wildly from side to side in fear, and so were Kid Icarus’s.  Kevin quietly approached the rock.  “Sh,” he said when Kid Icarus and Simon came up behind him.  He climbed up the large rock and then jumped down behind it.  “Gotcha!” he cried.

Suddenly, a pointed tail appeared twice from behind the rock, and then Kevin ran out with a white baby dragon in his arms, but it ran squealing out of his arms.  He pursued it and managed to grab it, but it dragged him along as it ran out of the cave.  “Hang on, Kevinicus; we’ll get you,” Kid Icarus said, but the baby dragon ran straight between him and Simon, so the two were forced to scatter.

As the dragon dragged Kevin out of the cave, Duke grabbed the tail of Kevin’s coat to try to anchor him, but he got dragged along too.  Suddenly, Kevin lost his grip and tripped, and he and Duke fell backwards.  The dragon rolled to the edge of the cliff over the river and fell over with a high scream.  Its claws grabbed the cliff face a short distance down as it screamed:  “Mama help!”  It screamed further in terror as tears leapt from its eyes.  “Help!”

Kid Icarus was at the cliff quickly.  “It’s Pufficus, the baby white dragon,” the archer said.

“Grab onto my hand,” Kevin said, extending his left hand down to the little dragon.  She tried, but she fell suddenly with another scream.  “Ah!”  She fell downwards, towards the jagged rocks sticking up from the rampaging river water, but suddenly her flapping wings began to carry her upwards, just in the nick of time.  The N Team cheered as she flew back up to the cliff.  She landed on the cliff between them and the cave and panted heavily from her fear and exertion.  “Boy,” Kevin said when she turned to them, “are we glad we found you.”

“Mama help!” she cried in fear, backing into the cliffside behind her.

“It’s okay,” Kevin said gently.  “We’re friends.  We came to help you.”  He shrugged.  “I don’t think she understands.”

“That’s because it’s not what you say that’s important, but how you smell,” Simon said.  “Eau de Dragon, my favorite cologne.”  The vampire hunter removed a cologne bottle from his backpack, and the label read, ‘Eau de Dragon Parfume for Men’.  Above the words was a picture of a fire-breathing dragon.  Approaching Puff, Simon spritzed some of the cologne onto himself.  “Ah!” he said, getting down onto the ground in front of the baby dragon.  In a baby-voice he continued:  “Don’t worry, little baby dragon.  Simon’s going to take care of you; yes, he is!”

Suddenly, she reached up to him and kissed his cheek.  “Mama!” she cried.

“I’m not your mother!”  He sat up, and she started licking his face.

“No, but you probably smell like it,” Kevin said.  Simon’s cologne had the distinct smell of a dragon.  The Game Master made a mental note to learn from which store Simon had bought the cologne and then to avoid ever going there.  He shrugged.  When Simon pushed Puff away, she rolled back and stopped just in front of Duke, who was surprised.  To the dog’s shock, the small dragon chomped down on his paw.  He yelped, ran to his master, and hid while whining behind him, and Puff didn’t come around to get him.  “Don’t worry, Duke,” Kevin said.  “She’s just a playful baby. . . I hope.”  Duke frowned.  “We’ve got to find the princess and Mega Man and let them know we’ve found her.”  The team turned to leave.


Meanwhile, Lana and Mega Man were trekking across another mountain.  “Oh, we’ve been searching for hours, Mega Man,” Lana said.  “There aren’t any dragons within miles.”

Suddenly, Mega Man noticed something in the distance before them.  “Look, Your Highness!  A mega monstrous castle!”  Their path led straight to a huge castle built so high in one of the mountains before them that its rear portion appeared to be built on midair.  Mists enshrouded the mountainous heights.  Closer to them, but some distance away off the path, was a huge stone dragon-head sticking up from the ground.  Black smoke ascended from this head’s large nostrils.

“Maybe there’s someone there who can help,” she said.  The two followed the path leading to the large castle.


Princess Lana and Mega Man head for Castle Charlock, the residence of the evil Dragon Lord himself.

Dragon Lord was sitting on his massive throne when one of his guard ran into the room.  “Dragon Lord!” the guard said.  “Two intruders are headed toward the castle.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Dragon Lord asked.  “Prepare to welcome them!”


When she and Mega Man arrived at the doors to the castle, Lana reached up and found that her hand could not reach the doorknob.  She looked down to Mega Man.  “Uh, why don’t you see if you can—uh, hm, hm, hm!—pick the lock.”  Mega Man knelt down to the base of the door to their left and effortlessly, lifted it off its hinges.  They came in and found a room with a huge object covered in white cloth.  “This is the biggest fireplace I’ve ever seen!” she exclaimed.

“This isn’t a fireplace, Your Highness,” Mega Man said quite nervously.  “It-it’s a dragon’s bedroom!”

A large voice boomed behind them:  “I’m afraid the little man is right!”  Turning around, the two N Teamsters saw Dragon Lord and two other dragons towering behind them!

“Dragon Lord!” Lana cried.

Mega Man stepped in front of her.  “Stand back, Your Highness,” he said.  “I’ll show this mega lizard how big Mega Man is!”  He shot a blast up at the middle dragon, but the dragon held out his hand, which caught the blast and reflected it back down to Mega Man.  Before it landed, the blast turned into merely a circle of energy that hit the floor around Lana and Mega Man, and the circular region of floor beneath them split off and fell away with them on it!  They fell screaming into a dungeon cell.  Mega Man landed first, and he caught Lana when she landed, and he helped her stand up.

“Something tells me this isn’t the guest bedroom,” Lana said with a shrug.


The N Team was now following a well-kept road in a hilly, grassy countryside.  They stopped when Puff began crying.  “Mama!”

“What’s the matter, Puff?” Kevin asked, lowering himself to the ground in front of her.  But she just cried without replying.

Simon and Kevin both shrugged.  “She hasn’t eaten in hours,” Kid Icarus suggested.  This was true enough; she hadn’t been fed since they found her, which was hours ago, and they had no idea when she had last eaten.  “She’s probably hungryus maximus.”  Puff nodded.

“Yeah,” Kevin said, “but what do dragons eat?”

“Why, dragonflies, of course,” Simon said erroneously.  “I just happen to have some.”  He reached into his pack and took out a jar with a dragonfly.  He opened the jar and removed the dragonfly.  He dropped it to Puff, who caught it in her mouth.  She began munching, but suddenly her eyes snapped open in disgust, and she spat out the dragonfly, which was propelled up into Simon’s face.  “Ungrateful brat,” he said, offended.  The dragonfly flew away.

“She’s just a baby, Simon,” Kevin said, “and where I come from, babies eat milk.”

“What a wonderful idea!” Simon said, eager to be rid of both Kevin and Puff.  “You can take her home with you and, um, come back when she’s grown up.”

Kevin knew that would not do, of course.  Suddenly, the spied a cow in the field.  “Look!” Kid Icarus said.  “A cowicus!”

“Come on, Puff,” Kevin said, beginning to walk over to the cow.

Over at the cow, Simon handed a jar over to Kevin.  “Here,” the vampire hunter said.  “This was your idea.”

“Uh-huh, oh no, not me!” Kevin objected, handing the jar back to its owner.  He was no farm-boy; he had no idea how to milk a cow!  “I’m a Valley kid.  The only way I know how to get milk is with a straw!”

“Hm!  Lucky for you, I happen to be an expert in these matters,” Simon said.  He knelt down next to the cow and held the jar underneath one of the cow’s nipples as he squeezed this nipple.  However, nothing came out.  He turned the nipple up towards his face so he could investigate, but when he squeezed, milk came out and coated his face.  He squeezed once more, and more milk came out.  “Ah!” he said pleased as he wiped his face off.  He tried again to get milk into the jar, but again the milk wouldn’t come out.  When he pointed the nipple at his face again, though milk did come out.  Exasperated, he stood up.  “Hmph!  I give up!  This is impossible.” he snapped, throwing the jar to the ground.

The jar bounded over to Duke, who caught it in his teeth and set it underneath one of the cow’s nipples.  Then he ran in front of the cow and scared her with some ferocious barking.  With a moo, the cow released milk, and enough came out to fill up the jar.  Kevin was pleased.  “Nice going, Duke!” he said as the cow moved away.  He carefully picked up the jar of milk.  “You really scared the milk out of her!”  He looked up at Kid Icarus, who was hovering in front of him.  “Kid Icarus, let me have one of your suction cup arrows.  Kid Icarus took out a suction cup arrow and offered it to Kevin, who wriggled off the suction cup part and attached this to the top of the jar.  Voilà, he now had a baby bottle!  He handed this down to Puff, who began to drink the milk.


Meanwhile, back at the Dragon Lord’s sinister castle. . .

Mega Man fired two shots at the stone wall of their cell, but to no avail.  “Aw, it’s no use,” the android told Lana.  “These walls are protected by some kind of mega magic that repels my blaster.”

Lana stepped over to the steel door, which had a barred window.  “There must be some way out of here,” she said.  She looked to her right.

“There is, Your Highness,” a voice called to her.

“You’re the Keepers!” she said, seeing them in the cell to her right.

“Yes,” the one who had spoken said.  This was the same one who had spoken to them when they contacted the Palace.  “But the power that we keep is hidden, and unless you can get it, Dragon’s Den can never be freed.”

“How can we get to your powers if we can’t even get out of this cell?”

“We can help.  Here, catch this.”  He threw a small vial towards her, and she caught it.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Magic warp water.  Wherever you spill it, there shall appear the Dragon Warp.”

“But. . . why didn’t you use it?”

“Because, my young princess, the passage through the warp is not an easy one.  Good luck!”

“Well,” Lana said, uncorking the vial, “what’ve we got to lose?”  She poured the liquid inside onto the floor.

“It didn’t work,” Mega Man said, but then, the fluid shifted position so that they were underneath it, and they fell screaming through it!  They fell outside and into the mouth of the dragon mountain near the castle.  Here, they fell through a twisting tube that served partly to ease their fall, and they slid down to the floor.  “Wow!” Mega Man cried.  “That was mega fun!”

“No,” Lana gasped.  “Fun is when you laugh, not when your heart stops.”  They got up and walked down the hall they were now in.  She looked around at a fork, and then determined:  “Let’s go that way.”  They continued in the direction she had specified.


“Hey!” Kevin said, standing up once Puff had finished off her milk.  “We did it!  She’s smiling again!”  But suddenly, Puff started crying again.

“What’s the matter nowicus?” Kid Icarus asked.

“Oh, you must have fed her too fast,” Simon sneered.  “We’ll have to burp her.”  He sat down on a boulder and beckoned Puff towards him.  “There, there, little dragon; give your Papa Simon a nice big burp!”  She got up into his lap, and he tapped her back, but when she burped up towards his left shoulder, a flame came with this, partly singeing his coat!  “Talk about heartburn!”  He got up and set the dragon back down.  “Well, we’re all ready to go.”  Suddenly, she began crying yet again!

“Oh, no!” Kevin moaned.  “Not again!”  Of course, this had to be the first babysitting job any of them had undertaken.

They next attempted to rock her to sleep.  They had her in a cradle up in a tree limb, and Duke was pulling a rope tied to the limb to rock her.  However, just as she got asleep, the bough broke, and the cradle did fall. . . right onto ‘Papa’ Simon’s head!  Then, Kid Icarus attempted to amuse her with a rattle.  However, she simply snatched it and ate it!  In a small pool, Kevin attempted to bathe her, but got some water in her mouth and splashed him by spitting it on him!  Next, Simon put a diaper on her.  However, when he was looking all smug, she swiftly switched the diaper to him, and he didn’t realize she had done this until he had made her sit back down!  Finally, the four N Teamsters took a nap in a circle around Puff, but she was still bright-eyed and pointy-tailed.


At the heart of the dragon mountain, Lana and Mega Man continued to explore the hallways.  Finally, they came to a room with a golden suit that was holding a golden lightning bolt.  “Your Highness, look!” Mega Man exclaimed.

“Those must be the power items,” she said.  They walked up the steps to the suit, and she took the lightning bolt.

“Now that we’ve got them,” Mega Man said, “there’s only one mega problem:  how do we get out of here?”

Lana looked upwards.  “We climb,” she said.


The four N Teamsters and Puff came out of the forest.  Kevin was suspicious that they were headed the wrong way.  “Are you sure we’re going the right way, Simon?” he asked.

“Absolutely!” Simon said smugly as he looked at the map.  “We’re heading straight for. . .”  Suddenly, Kid Icarus flew in front of him and turned the map so that ‘North’ was pointing up!  “Castle. . . Charlock?”

Oh, no! Kevin thought.  “Charlock?  That’s Dragon Lord’s castle!”

“Kevinicus, look!” Kid Icarus exclaimed.

Kevin turned and saw Lana and Mega Man emerging from a cleft in the mountain wall just ahead of them.  “Hey!” he exclaimed.  “It’s the princess and Mega Man!”  When they slid to the ground, he continued:  “Aw, am I glad you’re all right.”

“You’ve found the power items!” Simon exclaimed as Lana handed him the lightning bolt.

“And you’ve found Puff,” Lana said, kneeling down and hugging the baby dragon.

“And I have found you all!” Dragon Lord’s voice called.

The N Team turned and saw a contingent of dragons, Dragon Lord being among them.  “Dragon Lord!” Kevin cried.

“Mama!” Puff cried happily.

“Puff, no!” Lana cried as the baby dragon ran blindly to her hypnotized mother.

“Get the baby dragon!” Dragon Lord commanded.  Puff’s mother breathed flame at her offspring.

“Mama!” Puff cried again, but she stopped just short of the flames.  She shrieked.

“Let’s make like the Stooges and spread out,” Kevin commanded as Dragon Lord advanced.  The N Team scattered.  Dragon Lord fired his flaming breath, attempting but failing to hit any N Team member.

Kid Icarus hid behind a rock and prepared an icy arrow.  “This ought to fix your bad breathius,” the archer said.  He shot the arrow at Dragon Lord’s mouth.  The arrow connected and put out the dragon’s fire, and he was a bit off guard for a minute.

Kevin, Lana, and Simon were currently behind a fallen log, and Kevin was firing off Zapper shots.  “The Keepers said these power items could help us,” Lana said.  They ran out to where they had left the power items.

Kevin picked up the lightning bolt.  “I’ll see what this lightning bolt can do,” he said.  “Simon, you try the armor.”

Simon picked up the armor.  “Oh, but I look awful in gold!” he moaned.  But he knew he didn’t have time to debate the issue.  The dragons presently had the superior firepower.  “All right, Dragon Lord,” he said once he had the armor on.  “Prepare to do battle with Simon the Terrible!”  However, as he attempted to advance, he tripped over his own feet and fell flat on his face.  “Oof!”

Puff was watching from behind a bush.  She squeaked several sounds while running over to Simon to help.

“Hey!” Simon said when he had gotten back up.  “I can’t see a thing!”  Suddenly, Puff, who was only about as high as his waist, came up underneath him and winged him into the sky!  “Whoa!”

“I don’t know what this does,” Kevin said, holding the lightning bolt, “but I hope it does it before we wind up the main course at a dragon barbecue!”  He tossed the bolt deftly up into the air.  As it flew, though, it went right past Dragon Lord and then met an obstruction. . . the back of Simon’s new armor!

“Yow!” Simon wailed, for the bolt had pierced the armor.

Dragon Lord loomed dangerously over Kevin, Duke, and Lana.  “Your power is nothing compared to my magic!” the dragon declared loudly.  He breathed flame at them, and Kevin had to push Lana out of the way before the flames could strike them.

Simon yanked the lightning bolt out of his back and tossed it up into the dark, cloudy sky.  And once it was there, a wondrous thing happened:  the bolt exploded, and the clouds rained for a second and disappeared, clearing all the skies in the land.  Bright sunlight shone down all over the kingdom.  Bright rays of light turned all his hypnotized servants back to their normal, good selves.

“That magic lightning is removing Dragon Lord’s evil spell!” Lana said.  Finally, a bright ray descended on Puff’s mother and turned her back to normal.  She whipped around her tail and tripped Dragon Lord, who was standing right next to her.  He fell on his back.

“No!  Oh, no!” he cried in fear when the dragons gathered around him.  He jumped up and ran away.

The N Team cheered.  “Wow!  Hooray!  We did it!  Yay!” Mega Man cried.

Puff’s mother turned her head around and looked up into the sky.  “Puff!”

“Mama!” Puff cried, forgetting all about her passenger.  She flew off and left Simon hanging in the air.

“Whoa!” he cried.  Not even the tiny device spinning on top of the suit could keep him flying, and he fell out of the sky and onto a tree branch.

“Oh, Puff,” the mother said with tremendous relief as Puff flew to her.  “You’re all right.”  She took her baby in her arms and hugged her close.

“Mama, Mama!” Puff cried happily.

The mother addressed the N Team.  “Thank you all for saving my little Puff,” she said gratefully, “and for saving Dragon’s Den.”

“Ah, it was out pleasure, uh, Mrs. Dragon,” Kevin said.

“Speak for yourself, Captain N,” Simon said, still in the tree, “and while you’re speaking, would you mind asking someone to get me down from here!?”  The mother dragon came to the tree and gently whacked it with her tail, and Simon fell to the ground.  “Whaa-oh-aah!”  He landed on his back.  Puff laughed as she flew down to Simon.  When he had sat up and removed his helmet, she came to him and licked him affectionately.  “Hey!” he said.  “Oh!  Cut it out!  Yuck!  Oh!  I’m allergic to dragon slobber!  Ugh!”