Captain N:


Written by Jeffrey Scott

Novelized by David Hartline


On the dark and dangerous world of Metroid, the evil Mother Brain is about to discover a sinister secret.

“The power!” the wicked Mother Brain cried, firing electricity through the electrodes on the top of her jar.  Her wicked face was up in the upper parts of her jar, not down towards the middle where it usually was.  It was quite apparent that she was furious.  “I must have more power!”

Eggplant Wizard, to the right of Dr. Wily, reached to the mad scientist’s rear pants pocket and took two batteries, which he held up to her.  “Er, uh, he-he-here, Mother Brain,” the vegetable stammered.  “Uh, take my flashlight batteries.”

Mother Brain glared at him.  “Not that kind of power, you withering weakling!”  She zapped the batteries he was holding, and he screamed for several seconds.  Mother Brain’s face returned to the top of the jar.  “I want the power to reach my destiny, the power to rule Videoland, but most important of all, the power to destroy the princess and that meddling Captain N!”  She faced a blank screen.  “Metroid Mirror on my wall, tell me how to crush them once and for all!”

The screen faded to an image of Mount Icarus, and three dots were blinking on it.  In the north, a green dot blinked over near the Coliseum, to the immediate west of the peak that was west of the tallest mountain in Mount Icarus.  A red dot blinked in the east, near the world’s archway.  Finally, a blue dot blinked over the village to the southwest, and it was directly south of the Coliseum, though it was far away.  In verse, a female voice chanted the answer in rhyme.  “Hidden within Mount Icarus’s towering peak, the Three Sacred Treasures contain the power you seek.  For ten thousand years, they’ve been sight unseen, but bring the treasures together, and you’ll soon be queen!”  At the word ‘but’, the screen shifted to a view of clouds which withdrew to reveal three treasure chests. . . a green one in the upper left of the screen, a red one in the lower right of the screen, and a blue one in the lower left of the screen, as the dots had been before.

When the presentation was over, Mother Brain smiled wickedly.  “Yes!  Queen Mother Brain, supreme dictator of Videoland!  What a wonderful thought.”  She now addressed her minions once more.  “Get me the princess!”

“Yes, Mother Brain,” Dr. Wily replied.


Meanwhile, at the Palace of Power. . .

At the Palace, the N Team had set up a huge device to simulate the first level of Donkey Kong.  The large ape had Princess Lana in a jail cell up at the top of the maze, and Kevin was trying to reach her.  “Kevin, hurry!” Lana cried as Donkey Kong flung down barrels to roll Kevin away.

“Uh, don’t worry, Princess,” Kevin said, evading the barrels.  “I’ll be right there in a flash!”  He leapt over all the barrels.  “Whoa!”  When he arrived on the top girder, Donkey Kong screaming fell over and off the girders, and the cell around Lana disappeared.  He and then Lana leapt down to the floor.

“Nice try, Kevinicus,” Kid Icarus said.

“Whoa!” Kevin said in awe when he had landed on the floor in front of Simon, Mega Man, and Kid Icarus.  “A life-size Donkey Kong simulator!  What a concept!”

The simulator’s projection of the Donkey Kong game field faded in an instant, revealing the large viewscreen behind Kevin and Lana.  Suddenly, Mother Brain’s image appeared on the screen.  Her face showed something that the N Team had never seen from her before:  remorse.  But something about it did not seem quite genuine.  “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she said.

“If you’ve called to threaten us again,” Lana warned her, “it won’t work, Mother Brain.”

Mother Brain smiled sweetly. . . too sweetly, in fact, as far as Lana was concerned.  “You’re absolutely right, my dear.  Threatening hasn’t worked, and I apologize for my rude behavior.  All of this fighting gets us nowhere.  What do you say we settle our differences in a more sportsmanlike way?”

“I don’t trust her,” Lana said quietly to Kevin, and it was so quiet that only he could hear her.  “She’s up to something.”

Kevin agreed, but he felt it best to at least hear the crafty villainess out.  “What do you suggest, Mother Brain?” he asked.

“A challenge,” she replied. “We’ll hold a Videolympics on Mount Icarus!”  The screen faded to show Wily, Hippo, and Eggplant.  As Mother Brain elaborated her suggestion, the N Team felt increasingly incredulous.  “My warriors—er, uh, athletes—against Captain N and his N Team.”  Her wondrously disgusting visage returned to the screen.  “If we lose, we’ll never step foot off Metroid again.  If we win, I’ll be the new Princess of Videoland!”

“You, princess?” Lana asked.  She giggled.

“We’ve got to give her the benefit of the doubt,” Kevin told her.  Duke barked in accord.

“But this is what we’ve been waiting for, Your Highnicus,” Kid Icarus said as he hovered to Lana’s right.  “A chance for peace.”

“I know, but Mother Brain can’t be trusted,” Lana replied.  “What if it’s a trick?”

“Well, if it is,” Kevin suggested, “what better way to find out than to go along with it?”

“What if we lose?” Lana asked, greatly concerned.

“Lose, with me on our team?” the vain Simon Belmont demanded incredulously.  He started flexing his muscles.  “Don’t be ridiculous.”  He continued flexing.

“With Captain N leading us, we’ll have the mega power to win,” Mega Man said.  “What do you say, Your Highness?”

“Well, I guess,” Lana said uneasily.

“You’re on, Mother Brain,” Kevin said.

“Wonderful!” Mother Brain replied.  “We’ll see you at Mount Icarus Coliseum tomorrow for the games. . . and for your funerals, fools!!”  Laughing madly, she disappeared from the screen.

“I hope we’ve made the right decision,” Lana said.

“Don’t worry, princess,” Kevin said.  Simon was still flexing, and by now it was getting pretty ridiculous.  Kevin indicated him with his left thumb.  “With a little workout, we’ll be unbeatable.”


A short while later, in the Palace Courtyard, Kevin and the others go into training to prepare themselves for the upcoming games.

Everyone in the N Team now had on a blue shirt with a large yellow N in the middle of the chest and another in the middle of the back.  Kevin, Simon, Mega Man, and Kid Icarus each had on light blue pants.  Duke himself even had on a shirt.  Kevin’s and Mega Man’s shirts had hoods, while Simon’s, Kid Icarus’s, and Duke’s had collars.  Lana’s shirt cut of just before her abdomen, and it was V-shaped at the top, but it was not too revealing.  She also had on light blue shorts that did not go very far down her legs.  She retained her tiara and her necklace.  Simon Belmont looked quite idiotic, for he had put on his white undershorts with a green elastic band only after he had put on his pants!  He kept his goggles on his head and his backpack on his back as usual, and he kept his whip.  Kid Icarus had a turquoise sweatband around his head.

Kevin stood before Lana and Simon, and each of them had a jump rope.  “All right, guys,” he said.  “We’ve got to get into prime shape if we’re going to win.”  He stepped away a short distance and began jumping rope.  Lana then started.

Simon, however, was ever disdainful of Kevin’s methods.  “Simon Belmont is always in prime shape,” he reported with the utmost vanity.  Kevin and Lana ceased jumping to watch him.  He dropped the jump rope and unfurled his living whip.  “I can out-jump-rope you with my eyes closed.”  He took the handle of the whip in his right hand and the end of the whip in his left hand and began jumping.  He immediately started to show off by crossing his hands and reversing the rope over his head.  Duke softly howled when he grew dizzy of Simon’s jumping.  Simon switched the end of the whip to his left foot and jumped one-footed over the rope while holding his left hand above his head.  Then, he switched the handle of the whip to his right ankle and jumped with his hands.  After switching back to the ‘standard’ method of jumping rope, he began to grow exhausted and gasped for air.  However, when he tried to stop, the whip kept swinging on its own!  “Hey!” he cried.  “Stop!  Take it easy, you stupid whip!”  He then started trying to run clear of the whip, but it followed.  “Cut it out!  Whoa!”  Duke whined, lay down, and covered his eyes with his forepaws, afraid of seeing Simon get hurt.  “Oof!” the vampire hunter cried when he crashed.  He was lying on his chest, and the whip had tied his hands and feet together!

Lana giggled.  “I don’t know about you, Simon, but your whip’s in great shape!” Kevin said.  Lana giggled again.

Simon was most displeased, and he did not appreciate the Game Master’s joke.  He looked back at Kevin.  “Very funny!”

Meanwhile, Mega Man was beside a pile of heavy metal balls.  “What am I supposed to do with these balls, Captain N?” he asked when Kevin approached him.

Kneeling down, Kevin took a ball, stood back up, and held the ball from underneath with his right hand.  “It’s simple, Mega Man.  You just place it like this and throw it as far as you can.”  Grunting, he threw the ball.  It landed a few feet away from them.  “Like that.  Go ahead; you try it.”

As Simon approached, having finally gotten his whip under control, Mega Man took a ball in his left hand.  However, he flung it almost as soon as Simon was next to him, and he almost hit the vampire hunter!  “Hey!” Simon cried.

The ball took off like a rocket and flew across the courtyard.  Meanwhile, Kid Icarus was practicing archery, and with skill he hit the bull’s eye of the target he was using.  However, the ball Mega Man had flung flew over his head and dead through the center of the target!  “My target!” he cried.  The ball crashed some distance away.

Kevin was astonished.  “That was incredible!” he exclaimed to Mega Man.  Duke was jumping on the trampoline nearby.  After a few bounces, though, he accidentally bounced off the trampoline and into his master’s arms.  “I know you want to help, Duke, but dogs aren’t allowed to compete.”  He turned to Lana to his left, who had just approached.  “Are they?”  Lana shrugged.

Kid Icarus flew to Lana’s left as Kevin gently set the dog down.  “You can count on me to win the archery event, Princessicus!”  While talking, he set an arrow in his bow and carelessly fired it away from Lana, Kevin, and Duke.

However, he heard it hit a fleshy target, and he gasped and looked with dismay when he heard Simon cry:  “Yow!”  The vampire hunter approached them.  “What, may I ask, were you aiming at?” the vampire hunter asked as Kid Icarus got behind Lana.

“The target,” the small archer replied, meek and embarrassed.

Simon turned around and bent over, and there for all to see was Kid Icarus’s arrow sticking into Simon’s rear end.  “Does this look like a target to you?”  Kid Icarus flew over to Simon and yanked the arrow out of the vampire hunter, who suppressed a scream that would wake the dead.  He turned his head to look at the archer.  “Here!”  He stood and nabbed Kid Icarus and his bow.  “Let me show you how to hit the bull’s eye!”  He put Kid Icarus in the bow as though he were an arrow and as though his head were the tip of the arrow.  He pulled back, aimed for a target, and shot the archer screaming through the air.  However, Kid Icarus did not hit the bull’s eye; his head was buried in to the region above and to the left of the center but within the smallest circle around the center.

However, that made little difference to Kid Icarus.  He pulled his head out of the target and spat the straw out of his mouth, and looked back at Simon.  The small archer was definitely ticked off.  “Why, you big apicus!” he shouted, flying like a bullet towards Simon.  However, the vampire hunter merely ducked as the archer approached, and Kid Icarus’s eyes grew wide when he saw his new target.  “Whoa!” he cried, covering his eyes.

Mega Man did not notice Kid Icarus until it was too late, and he was too late to move aside.  Kid Icarus smacked him in the head and knocked him back into the balls.  Consequently, the balls were sent rolling, and they tripped up Kevin, Lana, Simon, and Duke.  At the end of the fiasco, the balls were everywhere, and Kevin and Lana were sitting, dazed, propped up by their hands.  Simon was practically on his back, except his arms were out keeping his shoulders above the ground.  Duke and Kid Icarus were unconscious and flat on their bellies, and Mega Man was out on his back.

Things did not appear to be going too well for the N Team.


Halfway across Videoland, at the strange world of Punchout, Mother Brain’s minions are also getting ready for the games.

The Punchout building appeared to be quite run down, but it was still functional.  In the workout room, several people were working out.  This included the Count, who was punching a punching bag, and Eggplant Wizard, who was jumping rope.  All of Mother Brain’s ‘athletes’ wore orange-red shirts with a frowning yellow face on the front over the belly.

Eggplant Wizard’s jump rope was actually a long French fry.  “One potato, two potato, three potato, four,” he sang as he jumped.  “After I skip some rope, I eat one potato more!”  He ceased jumping.  Then, he took the French fry in his left hand and produced a bottle of ketchup with his right.  After coating the French fry with ketchup, he swallowed it whole.  “Ah!  Delicious!”  He then sprouted a new French fry from his left hand and jumped rope some more.

The Count’s shirt was a little different in that it had bats on it and the frowning face in the upper left corner.  “I love punching the punching bags,” he said.  He then bit the bag with his vampire fangs, and it deflated!  “But I love biting them even better!”  He laughed.

Dr. Wily, who had an orange sweatband, stood before King Hippo.  He had joined a long steel bar to the walls on either side of the building.  “All right, King Hippo!” he said.  “Let’s see if you can lift this—wheeze!—much weight!”

“Ha!” Hippo laughed, having grasped the bar.  “No sweat!”  He summoned all his strength in attempting to lift the bar.  He tore the building’s walls away from its foundations and lifted it until the bar was above his head!  Meanwhile, some of the clients who were in the middle of changing clothes grew quite embarrassed and irritated, as their dressing rooms were no longer private!  King Hippo gasped for air as he held the bar and the building above him.  Mother Brain appeared in a hologram before him, Wily, and Eggplant.  “Hey, Mother Brain!  How’d you like the way I cleaned the dirt this way?”

“I’ll be in your face, jerk,” she replied, “if you don’t stop fooling around!”

King Hippo set down the building slowly.  “Aw. . . but we’re practicing for the games, just like you told us to!”

“I didn’t expect you to practice sports!” she snapped.  “I expected you to practice cheating, you hippo-popish head!”

“Ooh, but why do we need to cheat if you’re just going to destroy them with the power of the three Sacred Treasures?” Eggplant Wizard asked.

“Because, you cauliflower brain, winning the games will improve my image as Princess of Videoland.”  She disappeared.

“Well, if it’s cheatin’ she wants, it’s cheatin’ she’ll get,” King Hippo said, walking over to a box full of heavy junk, pulled off his right glove, crammed a handful of the stuff into his glove, and put the glove back on.  Then, he walked over to a large punching bag with a picture of Simon Belmont’s vain face on it.  “Like my famous wrecking-ball punch!  Ha, ha, ha!”  With one punch, he tore through the picture and made a big hole in the bag.

“Yeah!” Eggy said.  “And my broccoli bazooka!”  Using his wand, he fired a bunch of broccoli florets.

However, the vegetable was not watching where he was shooting, and the florets hit King Hippo in the back.  King Hippo lost his temper immediately and turned to the wizard.  “Why, you!” he said as one final floret hit his face and spattered light green juice all over it.

“No!  Wait!” Eggplant Wizard cried as Hippo approached.  Several vegetables popped out of him.  “It was an accident!”

King Hippo grabbed Eggplant Wizard by the front neck portion of his shirt.  “I’ll give you an accident on purpose!” the furious boxer replied.  He flung the sorcerer into the boxing ring, and Eggy came to a halt flat on his face.  As King Hippo climbed into the ring, Dr. Wily hit the starting bell.  “Defend yourself!”

“Okay,” Eggplant Wizard said as he looked up at the boxer.  “You asked for it!  I’ll squash you!”  He cast a spell on King Hippo that turned him into a giant zucchini!


Now, Eggy was standing.  “And I’ll beet you!”  This spell turned the boxer into a giant beet!


“And I’ll get you in an artichoke hold!”  This final spell bunched the boxer up in an artichoke.

Gurgling, Hippo got up and stomped on the floor.  Eggy screamed as the quaking caused him to jump towards Hippo.  King Hippo stopped Eggplant Wizard by holding up his left hand, and the wizard flew headfirst into it.  Hippo nabbed Eggy’s wand and broke it in two as the wizard fell on his back.  “Oh, yeah?” he demanded, turning back to normal.  “Well, I’m going to give you the ol’ ‘Flying Hippo Eggplant Jam Slam’!”  He thrust himself backwards against the rope barrier of the ring, and the ropes propelled him forwards and into the air like a cannonball.

“No!” Eggplant Wizard crying, spouting vegetables and fruit.  “Not the ‘Flying Hippo Eggplant Jam Slam’!”  He turned around and tried to crawl away, but Hippo landed right on top of him.  The vegetable sorcerer spurted a purplish liquid that spattered onto all the spectators, including Wily and the Count.


Meanwhile, back at the Palace of Power, the princess grows fearful of losing Mother Brain’s challenge.

Kevin, Lana, and Duke observed as Mega Man, Simon, and Kid Icarus held a small ‘discussion’.  Simon was holding an empty box of flakes that had a hole in the middle for a head.  “I’m the most handsome,” he said, “so after we win the games, my face goes on the cereal box.”  He put the box over his head as he spoke.  However, when Simon had finished, Mega Man reached up with his left hand and took the box.  “Hey!”

Mega Man put the box in front of his face so that his face showed through the hole, and he took Simon’s ankle with his left hand and held him effortlessly in the air.  “I should be on the box,” he said, “because I’m the strongest.”  Kid Icarus then fired a boomerang arrow that curved upward, pushed the box out of Mega Man’s hand, and carried it to Kid Icarus.  “Huh?”

“The games are being held on my world,” Kid Icarus contended, holding the box as Mega Man had, “so I should be on the boxicus!”  Then, Simon grabbed the box, and the three argued, all talking at the same time about whose face should be on the cereal box.

Lana had had enough of their petty squabbling.  “Stop it!” she commanded, and they did, looking at her.  “None of you are going to be on the box if we don’t win the games tomorrow!”

“Don’t worry, Princess,” Kevin said cunningly.  “I know how to get these guys in shape.  All right!  One hundred pushups!” he ordered.  “Let’s move it.”  The five dropped to the floor and began their pushups.  Kevin definitely proved the best in this, because he had been used to it from gym class.  Despite her lack of experience, Lana also did fairly well.  However, the others were struggling.  After that, the five did jumping jacks.  However, Simon tripped, and as he fell, he collided with both Mega Man and Kid Icarus and brought them falling to the floor also.  Kevin then had them running, including Duke, and they all did fine.  However, when they arrived at a spot where a wall extended for a few feet from the main wall, Kid Icarus, Simon, and Mega Man took a breather behind the wall, as they were exhausted.  Afterwards, Kevin broke several eggs into a glass and drank them raw, and everyone else found this so disgusting that they ran out of the room!  Then, Kevin had them climbing rope in another room.  First, he climbed up and back down.  Then, Simon pulled out his whip and had it wrap around the bar near the ceiling that all the other ropes had been tied onto, and he climbed with this, while Mega Man and Kid Icarus each used a rope that was already there.  Mega Man afterwards handwrestled Kevin, Lana, Simon, and Kid Icarus simultaneously, and he won after a few seconds, knocking them aside and creating a dent in the table.  After this, they more easily did left-handed pushups while holding their right hands behind their backs.  They then easily jumped rope, except for Kid Icarus, who just swung the rope around his body.  Finally, all of them, including Duke, ran up a staircase to a goal (except for Kid Icarus, who flew), and when they arrived at the same time, they held their hands above their hands and jumped happily.  Kevin then knelt down and hugged Duke.


The next day, on Mount Icarus, thousands have gathered to watch as their fate is decided by the Videolympics.

At the Mount Icarus Coliseum, Kevin and the rest of the N Team were together in one area.  “Now, don’t forget to keep an eye out for anything suspicious,” he warned them.

“Right,” everyone replied.  The all simultaneously slapped a high five.

Meanwhile, in Mother Brain’s section of the Coliseum, she and her ‘athletes’, who were King Hippo, Eggplant Wizard, Dr. Wily, and the Count, were gathered together.  She was on the top of a set of stairs before them as she addressed them.  “Now remember,” she told them, “it’s not whether you win or lose—”

Eggplant Wizard hopped up the stairs to her.  “But how you play the game,” he said humbly.

“No, you idiot!” she cried.  She shocked him and knocked him screaming back down to the ground.  “I’ve arranged for the events to take us to the three locations where the Sacred Treasures are buried.  And once I possess their sacred powers, I’ll destroy Captain N and the princess!  Then Videoland will be mine!”  She laughed most despicably.


“Ladies and gentlemen of Videoland,” the Coliseum announcer said, and the people began cheering, “let the games begin!”  The Coliseum announcer was an inhabitant of Mount Icarus, and he had wings like Kid Icarus.  He was in a small electronic chariot-like vehicle that allowed him to fly and hover anywhere in the Coliseum.  It may be worth noting that the spectators cheer throughout the games.

“You can do it, Kevin,” Lana said.  “I know you can!”  She kissed his cheek, and he smiled to her just before he left to enter the arena.  A wrestling ring had been prepared in the center of the arena.  King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard approached one side of the arena, while Kevin and Kid Icarus approached the other.

“The first event:  Greco tag-team wrestling!” the announcer proclaimed.

As he attempted to enter the ring, King Hippo tripped on the rope and fell on his fat belly in the arena.  Kid Icarus went a small way inside the arena as Kevin and Eggplant Wizard each stood on the outside of the ring, just outside the rope.  These two held onto the rope as the ring flew to a point several inches off the ground, where it hovered as a pool of lava opened up below it.  Kid Icarus was most unhappy about having been selected as a wrestler.  “I’m too small to wrestle!” he complained to Kevin.  “If King Hippocus sits on me, I’ll be squashicus maximus!”

“They picked our names out of a hat, Kid Icarus,” Kevin reminded him.  “We’ll just have to do the best we can.”

“Just a moment,” the announcer said.  “There’s been a mistake in the draw.”  However, though the judges thought that this was so, there really had not been such a mistake.  This was actually Mother Brain’s first stroke of cheating.

King Hippo turned around and left the ring.  This made Kevin and Kid Icarus quite happy.  “King Hippo’s out of the match!” Kevin exclaimed.

“Wrestling for King Hippo will be. . . Donkey Kong!”  The large ape stepped into the ring.  He had on a shirt like the rest of Mother Brain’s ‘athletes’.

“Oh, no!” Lana cried.  Duke gulped and whimpered.

Putting his hand to his mouth, Simon laughed for a few seconds, eliciting a frown from Lana.  He soon gained control of himself.  “Oh!  Hm.”

“First to pin an opponent to the mat is the winner!” the announcer said.  “No holds barred!”  Eggplant Wizard hopped into the ring.

“You take care of Eggplant Wizard,” Kevin told his teammate.  “I’ll handle Donkey Kong.”  When Kid Icarus had flown in to start, Kevin looked up and held up his right hand.  “Yeah, sure I will.”

Kid Icarus flew over to Eggplant Wizard.  “Come on, Kid Icarus!  Make your move!” Eggplant Wizard challenged.  Kid Icarus landed in front of him and pulled at his ‘feet’, trying to turn him over, but his strength did not suffice.  “Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!  What a shrimp,” Eggplant Wizard said as he conjured up several vegetables with his left hand and buried Kid Icarus.  “And every shrimp needs a shrimp salad!”  When Kid Icarus was completely buried, Eggy held up his hands in victory, but then he realized:  “Oops!  Almost forgot the breadsticks!”

“Kid Icarus!” Kevin called.  “You’ve got to use leverage!”

Kid Icarus got out from under the veggies, and he grabbed Eggy’s ‘feet’, used Kevin’s advice, and toppled the vegetable sorcerer onto his belly.  He got on top and prevented Eggplant Wizard from getting up.  “One, two. . .” the announcer counted.  However, Eggplant Wizard managed to tap Donkey Kong’s toe.  “Donkey Kong has been tagged!”

Growling, the large ape got to work.  First, he gently took Eggy by the head, pulled him out from under Kid Icarus, and placed him outside the ring.  After pounding his chest, the ape then used his left index finger and pinned the small archer to the mat.  “Let me goicus!” Kid Icarus cried, fearing that he might be squashed.

“One, two,. . .” the announcer counted.  During the count, though, Kid Icarus took out his bow and shot an arrow with a hand-shaped tip, and Kevin caught the arrow by this soft tip, so the turn was switched to him.

Kevin leaped into the ring and challenged Donkey Kong.  “Okay, you big ape!  Pick on someone your own size!”  Donkey Kong looked down evilly at him.

“Oh, no!” Lana said again, watching.  Duke whimpered, and a great crash was heard throughout the Coliseum.

Donkey Kong had sat on Kevin and Kid Icarus.

“One, two, three!” the announcer exclaimed.  “And the winner is Donkey Kong!”  He went down to Donkey Kong’s left arm and tugged at it, and the huge jungle dweller flung up his left hand with a huge grin and sent the announcer flying away.  “Whoa!”  Donkey Kong jumped up and left the ring, revealing a huge rear-end-shaped hole he had made in the middle of the ring.  Kid Icarus and Kevin climbed out, gasping for air; they concluded Donkey Kong had a really bad gas problem!  That was far worse than the crushing defeat.  “Donkey Kong wins the first event.  The score:  Mother Brain’s team:  one; the N Team:  zero!”


“Ha!” King Hippo laughed.  “We don’t need the Three Sacred Treasures, Mother Brain!  We’re going to pulverize those pip-squeaks!”

“I’m sure we are,” she replied, “but that’s no reason I shouldn’t have the greatest source of power in Videoland!  Go get me the first Sacred Treasure.”  King Hippo bowed and departed.


Lana stood as Kevin and Kid Icarus approached.  “That’s not fair!” she exclaimed.  “Donkey Kong weighs more than you!”

“Are you kidding?” Kevin asked.  “He weighs more than the Chicago Bears!”


“In the next event,” the announcer informed the spectators, “Mega Man and Dr. Wily will compete in the four-hundred-yard dash. . . through the electric maze!”  The four-hundred-yard dash was actually a long climb with several ladders.  The halfway point was marked with a ‘50’ flag, the finish with a ‘100’ flag.  There were several electrodes to impede the racers’ progress.  Mega Man and his archenemy ran to the starting line.  “On your mark. . . get set. . . go!”  He fired a laser gun away from everybody, and the two racers started.  In a fair race, the old Dr. Wily would never fare well against the young android Mega Man. . . but this was not a fair race as far as Mother Brain was concerned.  Mega Man took the lead.  “Mega Man is off to a good start.”  Mega Man waited for the electrodes blocking the first ladder to discharge before he started climbing.  Both racers did well anticipating the electrodes.  A flying device fired at Mega Man, but Mega Man evaded its shot and blew it away.

“Go, Mega Man!” the N Team shouted.  “You can do it!”

“Dr. Wily is falling behind as Mega Man approaches the finish line!” the announcer said.  However, Dr. Wily was not finished yet.  He took a Blader out of his pocket and wound it up by winding the propellers, and it flew up to Mega Man.  Mere inches away from the top, Mega Man saw the Blader and paused too long.  Wily’s insidious little robot shot a blast that knocked Mega Man off, and Mega Man fell screaming past Dr. Wily.  The small robot continued its blast, which combined with the electricity of the electrodes to destroy Mega Man.

“Mega Man!” Lana cried.

“He’s disintegrated!” Kevin exclaimed.

Wily finished climbing and reached the top.  “And Dr. Wily wins the electric maze dash!” the announcer said, and Wily started jumping gleefully.  “It’s two to nothing for Mother Brain’s team!”


In excitement, Eggplant Wizard had popped out some vegetables, and some green fluid had spattered onto Mother Brain’s jar.  She was not pleased.  “Get this gunk off me before I have you frozen in butter sauce!”

“Uh, s-sorry, Mother Brain,” Eggy said as he began licking the stuff off.


Mega Man rematerialized in front of Princess Lana and the others.  “Sorry, Your Highness,” he said sadly.  “I tried!”

“It’s not your fault, Mega Man,” she said kindly.  “They cheat!”


Meanwhile, in a sunken chamber beneath the surface of Mount Icarus, King Hippo searches for the first Sacred Treasure.

King Hippo’s eyes went wide as several red bats flew around him.  “Ugh!  Flying rats!  Yuck!”  He shooed the bats away as he neared a bag that was on a platform.  However, when he opened this bag, a snake poked its head out and laughed!  Screaming, the boxer fell over.  Getting up, he went to another bag.  A hand popped out of this bag and tried to choke him!  He fell backwards onto a trigger device, and a red treasure chest came up out of the floor.  He smiled, relieved.  “The first Sacred Treasure!  Heh, heh!”  He took it and departed through a warp, as he shooed at the bats that pursued him.


Back at the towering Mount Icarus, the Videolympics Coliseum arrives at the location of the next event.

This location was an enchanted waterfall that seemed to fall into a body of water in midair; the only visible part of this was the surface, which had a radius of several feet.  The Coliseum, capable of flying and hovering, arrived so that the surface of the body of water was several feet above the ground, while the top, where the diving platform was, was at the top of the waterfall.  “And now,” the announcer said, “Princess Lana and King Hippo will compete in the waterfall high-dive!”  Lana, Kevin, and Duke were already at the diving platform, but King Hippo was busy with other matters at the moment.


Where Mother Brain was, a warp opened in the floor, and King Hippo rose out of it.  Several bats were still around him.  “Yaah!” he screamed, fighting with the bats.  “Ugh, yuck!  Get off of me!”

“What took you so long?” Mother Brain demanded, angry.  King Hippo gave her a meek smile and waved, and the bats fluttered off.  “Now get out there before you’re disqualified!”

“Yes, Mother Brain!”  He turned and ran, leaving the first Sacred Treasure spinning in the air before her.

She laughed as she grabbed it with her tentacles.  “One down, two to go!”


“I’m a little nervous about diving down these floating waterfalls,” Lana said.  She was wearing a one-piece diving suit that was black with a pink stripe going down the middle on the front and back.

“Speaking of waterfalls,” Kevin said, growing suspicious, “there’s something familiar about the places these games are being held.”  As he was not diving, Kevin had no bathing suit.

“Dives will be judged on a combination of their grace and difficulty,” the announcer said as King Hippo climbed to the diving platform.  As he had not time to change clothes, King Hippo had simply taken off his shoes.  “Heh, uh, not to mention steering clear of the flying sharks.”

“Flying sharks!?” Lana demanded.  She turned to Kevin.  “You never said anything about flying sharks!”

Kevin shrugged and smiled meekly.  “Uh, heh, I didn’t want to worry you!” he said.

Duke barked a few times, and then he dove just for the fun of it.  He rolled and evaded the flying sharks that popped out to snap at him, and he landed in the water.  The weird-looking judges gave him the scores 6.9, 7.0, 6.9, 7.5, and 6.0.

“Nice dive, Duke!” Kevin called.

“Hey!” King Hippo exclaimed as he reached the platform.  “Wah, no fair!  Dogs don’t count!”

“Yeah, but hippos do, huh?” Kevin demanded.  He and King Hippo faced each other in tense stances, but Lana came between them.

“That’s enough!” she commanded.  “We’ll settle this with a dive.”  She turned to King Hippo.  “Blubber before beauty.”

King Hippo was happy with this, and he bowed.  Then, he dove, and he simply fell through the air belly-down.  “King Hippo is dropping like a bomb,” the announcer said.  “But he’ll get a low score if he doesn’t put some more bite into it!”

A shark popped out and bit at King Hippo’s rear.  “Yow!” the fatso cried, spinning.  He wound up vertical as if standing, and then he ran around spinning, and this is how he hit the water.  He splashed water all over the Coliseum.  The soaked judges gave him the scores 9.5, 9.0, 9.5, 9.0, and 9.9.  This made Lana even more nervous.

In Mother Brain’s booth, she and her other minions applauded.  During the applause, she whispered to Eggplant Wizard, who was next to her.  “Quickly, get me the second Sacred Treasure!”

“Yes, Your Wrinkledness,” Eggy replied.  As he hopped away, Mother Brain shocked his rear, and several veggies popped out of him!  “Yow!”

“Never say the word ‘wrinkles’ around me!  These are beauty lines.  Now get going!!”  Eggplant Wizard hopped away.

“King Hippo got an awfully high score,” Lana said.

“Don’t worry, Princess,” Kevin said.  “You can beat him.”  Lana leapt and dove with great grace and agility, avoiding the sharks completely and entering the water without splashing it everywhere.  The judges all gave her 10.0’s, the first victory for the N Team.

“Princess Lana wins the high-dive,” the announcer said.  “It’s Mother Brain’s team:  two, the N Team:  one!”

Everyone was cheering, especially, Simon, Kid Icarus, and Mega Man.  Kid Icarus’s cheering consisted of high-pitched sounds.  Simon picked up Mega Man.  “Hooray!  Hooray, wonderful, splendid!” Simon cheered happily, and then accidentally dropped Mega Man on his rear, but this did not faze the android one iota.  “Hooray!  Hooray, wonderful, splendid!”

Simon, however, stopped as Mega Man cheered:  “Hoo-rray!  Yahoo!  Wahoo!”

“Uh, not bad, not bad,” Simon said, this time with more restraint as his ego once more took control.

There was one, whoever, who did not cheer:  Mother Brain.  “Hmph!” she said.  “I could have done better, and I don’t even have a body!”

The diving platform sank back to the ground.  However, it paused at the surface of the water so that Lana could climb out and join Kevin.  When it landed, she and Kevin walked away towards the N Team.

While everyone’s attention was elsewhere, Eggplant Wizard hopped onto the diving platform.  It rose back up to the level of the water.  He then put on a snorkel and dove into the water.  There, he swam into the unseen lake created by the waterfall and immediately saw the green Sacred Treasure.  He struggled to pull it out of the ground; however, he was too weak.  However, he was loaned a helping tentacle, which pulled the treasure out of the ground for him.  He turned around.  “Thanks!” he said.  Then he shrieked.  It was a large octopus that had helped him, and it looked hungry for eggplant parmesan!  He swiftly swam away, leaving a bunch of veggies behind, as the octopus attempted pursuit.  It failed to capture him, and Eggy leapt out of the water and landed soaked on top of Mother Brain’s jar.  She looked up at him.  “Uh, I got it, Mother Brain!”

Mother Brain lowered her face and grinned a most evil grin.  “Two down, one to go!”  She laughed wickedly.


The next event was a ski jump with Simon versus the Count.  Simon arrived at the bottom of the jump platform first and landed gracefully on the snow, where he said:  “Ah!”  As Simon skied towards the finish line, the Count also went down the jump platform, but after the jump he transformed into a bat.  He flew over Simon and extended his legs, shoving Simon down into the snow!  Simon popped his head out from under in time to see the Count cross the finish line.  So the Brain-Team gained another unfair victory.

Next was the weightlifting contest.  King Hippo lifted a pretty heavy weight, but then Mega Man topped him by effortlessly lifting him up as he was holding up the weights!  So, the N Team won that.

Next was the pole vault.  The judges gave Eggplant Wizard the scores 6.7, 6.5, 6.0, 7.0, and 6.0, most likely losing to his competitor.


As the final event approaches, the score is tied.  The fate of Videoland will be decided by the outcome of the ten-kilometer rocket chariot race.

The Coliseum was back at its normal location.  At the starting line, the racers were gathered in their rocket chariots.  Wily was in a yellow chariot shaped vaguely like his face.  Eggy was to his right in a green chariot.  King Hippo had a pink chariot with a bellybutton.  Kid Icarus’s chariot had a white face with eyes and a blue outline with yellow rocket thrusters.  Simon had a lavender chariot vaguely shaped like his own face, and it had ‘goggles’ on the top.  Finally, Kevin had a chariot with a red front and bottom and yellow sides, and there was a large white N on the front.  Lana and Duke were with him before the race started.  He was busting his brain trying to figure out Mother Brain’s scheme.  “Maybe she’s after a special warp zone,” he said, but he quickly dismissed that.  “Uh. . . could be a secret password.  Ah, this is driving me crazy!  I’m certain I’ve played something like this before, but I can’t remember what!”

“Forget about that,” Lana said.  “Just remember, we’ve got to win!”  She indicated King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard, and they turned towards her and grinned.  “Or those creeps are going to be living in our palace!”  She and Duke hopped off the chariot before the race began.

“On your marks,” the announcer said, “get set, go!”  The racers took off.  “And they’re off!  King Hippo has taken an early lead.”

Near the back were Wily and Kid Icarus.  They were beside each other as they passed over a lake, but Wily fell back and hit a red button that transformed his chariot into a small submarine that entered the water!  Kid Icarus looked back and did not see him.  “Where’d he goicus?” he asked.  The evil scientist was now underwater, and he looked up at the archer with his periscope.  He fired a red torpedo that jumped out of the water and literally had Kid Icarus’s chariot for supper!  “Hey!” Kid Icarus cried as he fell into the water.  He gasped as Wily flew out of the lake.

“It looks like Kid Icarus is out of the race!” the announcer proclaimed.

Wily unwisely chose to look back at Kid Icarus.  “So long, Kid Idiot!” he said.  When he looked back forward, however, he gasped.  His chariot crashed into and dented a huge gong, which reverberated from the strike.  Dr. Wily fell to the ground dazed, pieces of his destroyed chariot all around him.

“Dr. Wily’s been given the gong!”

Simon and Eggplant Wizard came beside each other as they passed over some rolling hills.  “Hey, Simon!” Eggy said.  “Can I offer you a piece of fruit?”  He took his wand and by touching Simon’s chariot with it, cast a spell on Simon’s chariot that turned it to a banana!

“Whoa!” Simon cried as he descended to the ground.

“Simon Belmont has really slipped up this time!” the announcer said.

Lana, Mega Man, and Duke were watching from the Coliseum.  “I can’t look!” she cried, covering her eyes.

Simon slid on the ground, and the banana burst open, splattering him all over with ooey, gooey banana.

“And another of the N Team is out of the race,” the announcer said.

Closing his eye, Eggplant Wizard giggled.  However, when he opened his eye again, he gasped, seeing a petrified tree approaching rapidly!  He crashed into it, and it destroyed his chariot.  He landed on the ground and saw carrots and Brussels sprouts spinning around his head.

“The Eggplant Wizard has really been scrambled this time,” the announcer said.  “It’s down to Captain N and King Hippo!”

Kevin was behind as he and King Hippo were back in sight of the Coliseum.  “It’s time for my super speed kick,” the Game Master said.  He pressed the button on his Power Pad the farthest to his left.  His chariot sped up.  “So long, King Snail!” he cried as he neared King Hippo.

“Ha, ha, ha!” King Hippo laughed, preparing his fist.  “Captain N is going ‘N’ for ‘nowhere’!”  As Kevin was passing him, he swung his fist down and smashed Kevin’s chariot to pieces!  Kevin and his chariot fell towards the ground.

“Uh, oh!” the announcer said.  “Captain N is in big trouble!”

“Kevin!” Lana cried.

Kevin suddenly got an idea.  A rocket was above him, and the front plate of his chariot was in front of him.  “I hope this works!”  He took the plate, put the rocket on the bottom, and rode the plate like a flying skate board.

“Huh?” King Hippo asked, seeing Kevin approach.  The two were nearly neck and neck as they entered the Coliseum and neared the finish line, except that Kevin could not seem to pass King Hippo.

“They’re approaching the finish line,” the announcer said.  “King Hippo looks unbeatable—”  Suddenly, a warp opened below the boxer, and he went through it!  “Wait a minute!  He’s taken a wrong turn!”  Kevin crossed the finish line.  “Captain N has done it!  The N Team has defeated Mother Brain!”  The N Team and all the spectators cheered wildly.  All the N Team was back in the Coliseum.  Kevin landed in front of his friends.

Unfortunately, King Hippo’s chariot emerged from another warp and stopped right in front of Mother Brain. . . and on his dashboard was the blue Sacred Treasure!  She took it with her tentacles.  “The third one!” she said.

“Three!” Kevin exclaimed as he and the rest of the N Team approached Mother Brain’s group.  “That’s it!”

“What’s it?” Lana asked.

“What Mother Brain is after!  The three Sacred Treasures!”

Lana gasped.

“You’re too right, Captain N,” Mother Brain said, “but unfortunately, you’re also too late!”  She put the blue treasure on the ground in between the other two treasures.  Her minions left the immediate area so that what she was about to do would not harm them.  First she opened the blue one, and then she opened the green and red ones simultaneously.  They showered her with energy.  “My power is unstoppable now!” she cried.  “Behold!  The Warp Zone to Oblivion!!”  As Mother Brain laughed quite despicably and maniacally, she fired an energy beam that blinded the N Team.

Has Mother Brain really conquered Videoland?

However, the beam also cracked open the ground before them and sent them falling through a chasm-like warp zone to the deepest depths of Videoland!

Will Captain N and the others survive the deadly warp zone?  Find out, in the next chilling adventure of Captain N:  The Game Master!